ANS jokes
I've never been to Bradford before until today. While driving through the city center with my dad I asked, "Would you set up a business here?", to which he responded "No".
So I asked "Why not, you'd make us rich!", He gave me a confused face and asked, "How so?".
So I said, "Because sales would be fucking booming!"
I know, it's an awful joke.
What do you call an Irish man that breaks up fights?
Liam Malone.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
It doesn't know where home is.
Why does Job have an Area 51 head? Because his head is the shape of a 🦖.
Q: How to hit an orphan?
A: Hit them with a family tree.
I have had an obsession with soap. Don’t worry, I am all clean now!
What does an Asian call a penis? A wong.
What does an Asian do with its legs? It wok.
When Ant-Man is the size of an atom, how can he breathe?
What do you call a child predator and an illegal immigrant? Alien vs. Predator.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because he can't hit a home run.
Suicide is never the answer.
Suicide is the question.
The answer is yes.
What is the difference between an egg and you? An egg gets laid, and you don't.
What do you call an emo kid's suicide live stream?
America's funniest home videos.
What's the difference between an onion and a hooker?
I cry when I chop up onions.
What did the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?
"Beat it. We're closed."
What do you call the type of photo an orphan takes?
A selfie.
God promised John that if he came in 1st, he would get an eternal life, but instead he came in 5th and got a kettle!
What's an emo's favorite Pink Floyd album?
The Final Cut.
One day, inexplicably, my talking parrot started insulting me. He called me an idiot, a fool, a jerk, stupid, and a variety of other nasty names. I warned the squawker to cease, but to no avian avail. Fed up, I finally flipped the foul-mouthed feather-brain into the freezer...but after about 15 seconds, I relented and let him out.
"I'm so sorry," he declared! "I don't know what came over me, and realize I shouldn't have said those terrible things. I hope you can forgive me, and I promise never to do it again! By the way...what did the chicken do?" 🐔😂
What do you call an orphan family photo?
A selfi.