ANS jokes
Person A: What do you call the dangly bit of an octopus?
Person B: Tentacles?
Person A: Ok *tickles person B ten times*
If you get an apple a day, what does it give you?
Worms and rotten fruit.
All-star gay mix
Somebody once told me The world is gonna rape me The dick's the hardest part of the body She looked like she's having fun With her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" in her bumhole.
Well, I started cumming And she started cumming Fed with dick, she's in love with bumming Didn't make sense not to live for bum Your dick gets hard, but your ass gets numb.
So much to fuck, so much to suck So what's wrong with eating the asshole? You'll never know if you don't try You'll never taste if you don't lick.
Hey now, you're a porn star Get your sex on, bum pain Hey now, you're a porn star Suck a schlong, ass frail And all that glitters is cum Only sperm heads break the female egg.
It's a gay place and they say it gets gayer You're licking bum now, wait 'til your a bit older But the bent boys beg to differ Judging by the hole in the homeless man's throat.
The sperm in the bath is getting pretty thin The sperms getting warm so you might as well swim My world's on cocaine, how about yours? That's the way I like it and I never get raped!
Hey now, you're a porn star Get your sex on, bum pain Hey now, you're a porn star Suck a willy, ass frale And all that glitters is cum Only sperm heads break the female egg.
What is never ordered in an orphanage?
A family sized pizza!
I saw a little kid crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at an orphanage.
Do you know why you never mess with an orphan?
Because they’ve got guardians!
What do you call 2 octopuses that look the same? Identical!
Where does an octopus put its money? In an octo-purse!
Why doesn't Laila in UHS need an insult?
Have a look at her face!
What do you call an octopus with eight legs? An octo-pussy!
Q: What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? A: Apples get picked.
What do you call an act of “funny” discipline? A PUN-ishment!
Everyone says Kenny has an easy life.
I disagree. I hear his mom likes complicated sex positions.
Your mom should show you your real home. The trash!
If death was an option for a look, you could be the first.
Girl: I've been an orphan since I was three.
Boy: Knock knock.
Girl: ...Who's there?
Boy: Not your parents!
An orphan was in 1st grade, and its teacher said to spell "parrot." The boy spelled "Parents."
Teacher: We have a new student. He's an orphan.
Student: Oof.
Teacher: Is anyone missing?
Student: His parents.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple? An apple gets picked.
A man walks into a bar with his pet octopus and proudly claims the animal can play any musical instrument. The bartender pulls out a guitar from behind the bar and gives it to the octopus, which plays an amazing solo. Just then a Scotsman walks into the bar with a set of bagpipes. The octopus grabs the instrument and wrestles around with it on the ground, flailing about, making a horrible sound. The bartender says, "Hey, looks like he can't play that!" and the octopus says, "Play it? As soon as I get it's pajamas off, I'm gonna fuck it!"
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Well, at least one gets picked.
You know I want an ADHD cure.
When?
Squirrel!