ANS jokes
What is the difference between an Orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What is an orphan's first phone?
An iPhone 12. Wanna know why?
It has no home button :D
Why do orphans want an iPhone S? Because it has a home screen.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
1. If being ugly was a crime, you would have a life sentence.
2. My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships.
3. There is a tree out there giving you oxygen, and you owe that tree an apology.
4. I don’t hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone.
5. When I saw your dad on the sidewalk, I didn’t laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
6. If I had powers, I would make you the dumbest person alive, but it seems life already beat me to the punch.
7. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it.
8. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.
9. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting.
10. Were you born on a highway, 'cause that’s where most accidents happen?
11. Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya.
12. You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented.
Why is an orphan so scared of the dark?
They don't have a dad to check the closet.
Any food an orphan has is a family-sized meal.
What do you call a selfie of an orphan?
A family photo.
What do you call an anorexic blond with a yeast infection?
… A quarter pounder with cheese.
I remember I met an orphan. He asked, "Can I suck your thumb?" I said, "Why?" Because "that'd be pig."
Q: Why did the orphan buy an iPhone X?
A: Because it has no home button.
Drop me in Afghanistan with a cigar, a Kobe jersey, a MAC-10, a Lambo Huracan with a bumper delete, and a Toyota Tacoma with an M249 on the back. Then I'll have Afghanistan as the 51st state by midnight.
Drop me in Afghanistan with a Dodge Challenger Super Stock, a Mexican named Jose, a 6 pack of Dr. Pepper, a golden SCAR, a pack of chimichangas, and an M4A1, and I'll have the Taliban saying the Pledge of Allegiance in 4 hours.
What’s an orphan's favorite movie?
"Home Alone."
Why are Japanese people's eyes so squinted?
Do you know how bright an atomic bomb is?
School shooting happens:
Foreign exchange student: Sobbing under desk.
American student: “First time?”
The student from Irak with an AK47: "RAtatata..."
What do you call it when an orphan takes a selfie?
A family photo.
Your forehead is so big that it couldn’t handle an acute angle.
What happens when an emo kid tries to high-five you? You leave him hanging.