And jokes

Bruh, who likes Dhar Mann nowadays? That shit is ass AF. And it's just legit shit like only nerds that are fatherless would watch that shit.

Little Jim's friend told him that if he farts, he will give him a tenner. Little Jim tries to fart, but he poos himself, and he is bullied until he puts the poo on the bullies' face.

ISIS recently brought out a new shampoo.

Head and Shoulders!

My brother tried to hit this guy with a plane and but hit the Twin Towers.

What's small and can't turn around in a hallway?

A baby with a javelin in its head!

I had a steering wheel down my pants, and I tell you what, it was driving my balls crazy!

I took my friend skydiving once, and he jumped out of the plane without a parachute. Then I remembered he was emo.

If someone has a hyperfixation with drawing and playing, does that mean they are on the "artism" spectrum?

Do you remember blowing bubbles when you were younger?

Well, Bubbles is back in town and was asking about you!

You look like your mom and your dad had a child.

How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it, then light it on fire and it will go "WOOF!"

How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Put it in the deep freeze until frozen solid, then run it through an electric saw and it will go "MMMRROWWWWWW!"

NEWS: A man kidnapped a 13-year-old girl.

MOM OF GIRL: The man had a shady face and a receding hairline.

What activity do nuns and whores have in common?

Answer: Genuflection.

Yo mama's so fat, it took me two buses and a train to get to her good side.

What is the difference between interstate and intercourse?

Your eyebrows turned into little butterflies and flew away!

Me and your hairline go way back, years and years.

What is the difference between you and a calendar?

A calendar has dates.

What’s the difference between a photocopier and the flu?

One makes facsimiles; the other makes sick families.

Why did the plane go to KFC?

To lose its wings and crash!