And jokes

One of my friends got a haircut, and everyone giggled and bullied him... I didn’t, I died of laughter 😂

Jack & Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy...but Jack got a shock and a mouth full of c0ck cuz Jill's real name was Randy.

Her name was Lola.

She was a loner.

At the Copa.

Then I saw her,

And I got a boner.

The next morning,

She couldn't remember if I banged her.

What's white but not black, and red all over?

J. K. Rowling after attending the world premiere of the next Matrix movie.

What's the difference between a human and a potato? There is none, you can eat both.

Make like your hairline and scram!

My friend: Hey, why are you always smiling?

Me: 'Cause life is a joke and we’re all slacking it off.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To eat Bob's arms.

Bob went to hospital and had no arms.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Not Bob.

There was a kid and a historian in a museum about WW2 and were looking at Hitler in a car doing the Nazi salute. The kid said, “Why is he putting his arm in the air?” The historian said, “Indicators on cars didn’t exist back then so he’s probably saying take the Third Reich!”

I got my job at a bank and lost the job the day I got it. A lady asked me to check her balance... so I pushed her!

Your hairline and your forehead must have a lot in common because they go waaaaaaaayyy back!

My birthday's on September 11th, I'm gonna turn the fuck up and throw a banger! Then rub my tits in birthday cake frosting!!! WOOOOOOOOO!

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple always gets picked.

Her Name was Lola. She was a loner. At the Copa I saw her And I just wanted to bone her!

End everything and your life, Steven Roca!

My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?

I’m going back to the house to get some stuff for my dad, and then I’m going to have a car and a birthday party come up for the weekend at the end of the week. I was going to get my birthday cake for the day.

I set a wheelchair on fire and called it "Hot Wheels."

One day, a class of children were killed in a bus accident, but only some survived. One was praying that he would survive, and the other said, "First time?"

These jokes crash and burn.