And jokes

What is the difference between a bag of chips and a gun?

If you pull one of them suddenly, everybody wants to be your friend.

And (DYM 106).

Sorry man, but I got to say one thing. You know when a bully in a movie walks to you, then they walk up to you, and they smell you and say, "What are you doing?"

Who robs and breaks into people's houses?

Okay, I'm on my last nerve when people say "Water Shark Guy" and other things THAT ARE NOT MY NAME.

This is my name: watersharky!

Are you a rope? Let's hang out by a tree and drink :)

What's the difference between humans and mushrooms? I don't like eating mushrooms.

In the year 2020, who were the biggest enemies?

Coronavirus and toilet paper.

My sister is really disrespectful, and her famous words are, "You're not my parent!" The next time she says this, I'm going to respond back with, "You're right, because I would have worn a condom to protect from you being born unlike my dad did!"

I saw a little kid cry. I went up to him and asked where his parents were. Jeez, I love working at the orphanage!

Jk: Jimin, why are you so small?

Jm: Excujjimi?

Jk: No offense, Jim.

Jm: Yah, call me hyung!

Jk: But I'm bigger.

Jm: I'm older!

Jk: I'm the top and you're the bottom, so I don't think it's right to call you hyung.

Jm:......

What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?

— Don't ask me. How should I know? I'm just the drone pilot.

Why do crack heads like to do it doggy style?

So one can peep out window and one can peep on floor.

What did Kobe Bryant and Josef Vanicek have in common?

They both won a trophy at least once, Vanicek a 1x Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes, and they also both crashed and burned in a helicopter or airplane.

Why was Josef Vasicek a Stanley Cup champion in 2006?

Because you know who was jealous and he went down in 2020.

Build your ex a fire, and they're warm for a day.

Set your ex on fire and hide the smile/evidence.

Stephen Hawking talks by clicks. Two clicks is "hi," and five is "dab me up."

"Since 7 8 9, why was 10 scared? Because it was in between 9 and 1."

A man walks into a bar carrying a big chunk of asphalt and says to the bartender, “Make mine a double Scotch and one more for the road.”

A 7-foot-tall man walks into a restaurant with his 4-foot-tall girlfriend, and the maitre d' says to the waiter, “He must be nuts over her.”