And jokes

An orphan saw a tornado, and he thought he saw his mom, but then he realized it was a corpse and said, "Hi, Dad!"

What's the difference between a tornado and a divorce down south?

Nothing. Someone's losing a trailer.

I threw my boomerang and now I live in constant fear.

What do you get when you mix a redneck and spicy food?

The worst shits you'll ever see!

School shootings are everywhere. In ice cream shops and even the woods.

Would you rather listen to Justin Bieber or die in the slowest and most painful way possible?

They're the same thing.

Why did my dad leave me and my mum?

I told him it wasn't big enough and then ran off saying, "Daddy, yeeeees!"

The thing about 9/11 and the jokes about it, for most people it flew over their head, for some it flew into their head.

What's the difference between a piano, a pot of glue, and a tuna fish?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.

What about the glue?

I knew you'd get stuck there.

How are orphans and apples different?

One gets picked.

My friend bought a Tom Holland blanket and I said, "Well, now you're sleeping with him."

What's the difference between pizza deliveries and the Twin Towers?

Pizza deliveries get their orders right.

I'm at school and this website isn't blocked, and I need help on who did 9/11?

I was walking in a park today and a little girl I asked, "Where are your parents?" She said, "Gone. My dad went to go get the milk and never came back," and I said, "Oof."

What is the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid?

"I like ya cut G" means two different things.

What's the difference between emos and 9/11?

The emos are still there, high up off the ground.

You look like the type of guy to wash his/her hands after a shower! (And don't write in the comments that there are more than 2 genders.)

I thought opening a door for a lady was good manners, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies.

She is not “fun to be around.”

I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white woman. He chopped her up and put her in the woods, the suck fuck.