And jokes

What do a circle and a sphere have in common?

They're round, and round is a shape.

What do Hiroshima and Herobrine have in common?

They're not heroes.

Why are the Twin Towers actually twins?

Their birth and death date are the same.

So a lady came up to me today at the bank, and she asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

Your momma is so fat, she was in a movie and the screen broke!

A blind man walked into a fish market and said... "Hello, ladies!"

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

Apples get picked.

Yo mama so fat that the Avengers team had to snap five times and say, "Oh my God!"

My girlfriend said to me, "Dear, I think you have hit an animal, there's blood and dents all over the bonnet."

I said, "No, love, I'm not waiting for a Black Lives Matter rally."

What's the difference between you and me?

I have a plan for this new year.

So long, suckers. Keep scrolling.

What's the similarity between your mum and West Ham?

Your mum blows spunk bubbles from her ass.

Who comes once a year and makes your kids cry?

Rapey Santa.

Never let an orphan watch Fast and the Furious.

All they will talk about is how great their family is.

What's the difference between an orphan and Daniel Larusso?

At least Daniel has a mom.

The Stephen Hawking space telescope will be launched next year. Apparently, it will have four wheels and run off Windows 7.

What's the difference between a goat and a sex slave?

I don't have a slave in my sex dungeon.

What makes piracy and anti-piracy so unique?

One isn't that of a thief, while the other is as serious as fuck.

What has two wheels and goes really fast?

A vegetable down a hill.

What does a child molester and a Catholic priest have in common? They both prey at church.

What's the difference between orphans and apples?

Apples get picked.