And jokes

So, Dad is teaching his 8-year-old son about the planets and said, "This is Uranus." Then the 5-year-old son says, "Where is my anus?"

Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts.

Touch your toes and hold them. Then spell "run." It will say, "r.u.n."

You're so much like a marshmallow, you're so squishy and sticky, and everyone puts their sticks inside of you.

The Stephen Hawking space telescope will be launched next year. Apparently, it will have four wheels and run off Windows 7.

What's the difference between a goat and a sex slave?

I don't have a slave in my sex dungeon.

What makes piracy and anti-piracy so unique?

One isn't that of a thief, while the other is as serious as fuck.

The thing about 9/11 and the jokes about it, for most people it flew over their head, for some it flew into their head.

What's the difference between a piano, a pot of glue, and a tuna fish?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.

What about the glue?

I knew you'd get stuck there.

How are orphans and apples different?

One gets picked.

My friend bought a Tom Holland blanket and I said, "Well, now you're sleeping with him."

Lol, the Twin Towers ordered a drop in from Pizza Hut, but instead they got a hot and ready from Jet's.

Well, I got stuck in the dryer and fell asleep. Then my step bro got home, and I did not know, and hours later I woke up. My pants were down, and my butt was on fire.

"Balls" got me like: 😂

What do a circle and a sphere have in common?

They're round, and round is a shape.

Why are the Twin Towers actually twins?

Their birth and death date are the same.

Your momma is so fat, she was in a movie and the screen broke!

What's the difference between you and me?

I have a plan for this new year.

So long, suckers. Keep scrolling.

What do Hiroshima and Herobrine have in common?

They're not heroes.

Yo mama so fat that the Avengers team had to snap five times and say, "Oh my God!"