And jokes

You're an orphan and blind. You have cancer. You will die in 3 days. Merry Xmas!

If an emo and a leaf are in a tree, which one will fall first?

Answer: The leaf. The rope saved the emo.

What’s the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?

One was famous for walking on the moon, (pause), the other fucked young boys.

I look at your bro.

And all I can see is the real definition of *"Lack of Grace!"*

Two people about to have sex realize they have no lube.

In their desperate, horny haste, they looked for the nearest "Downy" and asked it, "Speak into my hand."

Upon their return to the bed, they regretted it immediately because his dick just stayed down...

When you put the chicken in the oven, it goes down, and the oven explodes. The oven and smoke and everything is fire and on fire and flies to the grass, and all goes back.

If cancer was a person I’d shake their hand and say: "Thank you for your service."

Sorry if it’s too far, but don’t come here if you can’t take it.

Who is white, hairy, and rusty in the tree?

It's Rambo Rabbit with a big gun that was.

Why do people not adhere to the corona measures?

Because they hate their lives and want to die.

What's the difference between a frog and a skyscraper? The frog can jump. Hahahahaha!

An Indian kid walked into the shop and had a curry down because they had no naan bread in stock.

Question: What is the difference between a morbid joke and a dark joke?

Answer: One is 10 babies in a trash can; the other is a baby in 10 trash cans.

What is cats and dogs' favorite story and movie?

"Romeow and Drooliet!"

I had a good night, and I love it when you get a good walk and you get to.

What’s the difference between Santa and an orphan? Nothing; they don’t have parents.

What is the difference between a human and a tree and yyyyy night I can drive yyy earth 🌏?

Every time I go to the store I look in the deodorant section and my dyslexia acts up. Instead of "antiperspirant," I read "antidepressant." At least I get a bunch of extra snacks out of my shopping mistakes.

Q: How do you make a fire?

A: Oil and dead babies.

What do you get when you combine a planet and an apple?

Mario.

What do gum and guns have in common?

When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend all of a sudden.