And jokes

Kaleb: Addison, are you okay???

Addison: Not at all. People think I'm annoying and stupid! Do you?

Kaleb: Yes, once I pound you in the ass.

What’s the difference between you and an orphan...

NOTHING!

When you are stressing from homework, just do some skateboarding and kick butt.

What's the same about bins and orphans? They get dumped.

Me and my wife love playing table tennis. I couldn’t win all day, but when it got dark, I managed to beat her. I don’t know how the police found out so quickly.

What's yellow and can't swim? A bus full of kids.

A cow was standing in a corn field. The chicken walked by and said annoyingly, "What do I see here? Corned beef!?"

He got a paper cut and bled out.

What's the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player?

A hockey player showers after 3 periods.

What similarities do peeping Toms and spies share?

They both see things they shouldn't.

"Roses are red, Shut up and go to bed!"

A dog found a bone. Then he was walking happily across the street, and he saw a bridge. He decided to walk on the bridge. He saw his reflection and thought it was another dog. Then he barked at him, and the bone fell in the river. The dog said, "What a fool I have been," and walked away.

My grandfather told me I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

What’s the difference between a hot potato and a flying pig?

One’s a heated yam, and the other’s a YEATED HAM!

What's the difference between a government and a pawn shop?

They lower you.

What's the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?

One's fun to hang to with a sledge hammer, the other is just a watermelon.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

Bro, the Twin Towers got a hot and ready from Jets.

Lol, the Twin Towers ordered a drop in from Pizza Hut, but instead they got a hot and ready from Jet's.

If you are disabled and a comedian, is it called stand-down or sit-up?