And jokes
What do a priest and Christmas tree lights have in common?
They can both flash.
What do my balls and emos have in common?
...Nothing, they both hang themselves...
Why do 911 jokes always fail?
They always crash and burn!
What’s the difference between a normal kid and an Emo?
When you feel an Emo's arm, there’s lots of texture! Feels great, too!
If Will Smith had a revolver and said, "Who fucked my wife?" Chris Rock would say, "You don't have enough bullets, mate."
Memes
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple gets picked.
If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language?
An American.
When someone throws something at your forehead, it stops moving and goes into orbit around your forehead.
Huggy Wuggy and Kissy Missy had a baby.
They never gave him a name, so they just played cut the rope with him...
What's green, red, and spins at 4000rpm?
A frog in a blender.
Feed the hungry with the hungry. It solves world hunger and overpopulation at once!
You say to your slow friend: "Damn, you're slower than Stephen Hawking!" And that takes some talent.
What a day yesterday was! I got a promotion, and my sister's killer was hit by a bus. Now I'm in a cast!
What's the difference between Mars and Africa? Mars has water.
This ole boy picked up a hooker one time and she gave him the clap. In a few days, he saw her again, and he went up to her and said, "Hey, you gave me the clap!" She said, "NO I DID NOT! I sold it to ya!"
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What do trans women bring to lesbian relationships?
Something big and warm 🍆.
What's the difference between an emo kid and an apple? The apple falls from the tree.
I was on the Official Cristiano Ronaldo website when suddenly my Anti-Virus software showed an alert on my screen! The notification read "WARNING: FRAUD DETECTED!" I was shocked but not surprised.
Penaldo has been finished for years after all, and he often ghosts in big games.
What does an orphan and a lost kid have in common?
They have no way home.