And jokes
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
Today, me and my best friend went to the Grand Canyon. He was taking up all the space by the edge, and I told him to back up. R.I.P. to him.
The pastor jumped at the chance to meet Ariana the other day.
He also grabbed, fondled, and fingered. Some might say he was milking the situation.
A man walks into an enchanted forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
“You can’t cut me down,” the tree exclaims, “I’m a talking tree!” The man responds, “You may be a talking tree, but you will have dialogue.”
What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.
Memes
I was walking to the store, and then this boy told me, "I'm an orphan and I have no money." He wanted M\&Ms. I gave him a family-sized bag.
What is humble, holy, and helps?
An angle...
What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?
I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.
Life is karma... because I was born, God gifted me with social awkwardness, sh*t athletic skills, and stupidity.
I was drinking a martini when a waitress yelled, "Do you know CPR?"
I replied, "I know the entire alphabet!" We all laughed and laughed, well, except one person.
I'm bored. If you want to friend me in Roblox, my username is Talitha95g and my nickname is talithafromamirica.
The difference between an apple and an orphan is that the apple gets picked.
You caught a Penaldo!
Description: Penaldo, the finished statpadder. It is said that Penaldo drains the energy of its teammates and sells underwears.
Type: Ghost type.
Moves: Dive
Disappear in big games
Cry for pens
Statpad vs farmers
Sells underwear
Patient: Where are you taking me, doctor?
Doctor: The morgue.
Patient: Hang on! I'm not dead yet!
Doctor: And we're not there yet!
What's white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.
Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.
I have an Uncle named Ricky, who made ur mom sticky.
His dad calls him pricky and everyone begs for his dicky.
A lot of things changed when I got my girlfriend pregnant: my name, my address, and my phone number.
I'm sorry and I apologize mean the same thing, except at a funeral.
What do u call a person called zaid? Zait and za3tar. lol
Will Smith's slap was like 9/11. It came in unexpectedly and will go down in history.