And jokes

What’s the difference between a microwave and a 10 year old girl?

The microwave doesn’t fart out blood and diarrhea when you pull your meat out.

I kicked a ball at the kid in the wheelchair, and now we're playing Rocket League.

You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!

I intern at an orphanage that burned down this weekend with 30 kids inside.

Thankfully, I don’t have to call and tell their parents.

What's the difference between a Chinese person and an old person?

One lasts long and another doesn't.

What's the difference between an orphan and a bowl of apples?

The apples got picked!

Your hairline goes back further than when my gran died, and she was buried 6 foot under.

I just beat the Hollow Knight and found it takes 26 hours to beat it, but it took me 69 hours to beat it.

People say my dad left me and was never successful, but if you search up who destroyed the Twin Towers, he will pop up.

Also, my mom's great grandpa killed Hitler.

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and the Leaning Tower of Pisa?

The Leaning Tower of Pisa has good reflexes.

What’s bin Laden got in common with SpongeBob?

Both can be found at the bottom of the sea, and they’re filled with holes.

Why is an orphan bad at hide-and-seek?

Because nobody will actually look for them.

I was doing a magic show. I tried to make a bunny disappear, but it didn’t work.

I walked outside in shame. I looked up and realised the towers had disappeared!!!!

What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common? They were only two.

What's pink, red, and silver and bumps into walls?

A baby with forks in its eyes.

I saw a little girl crying, and I said, "Where are your parents?" That day, I got fired from the orphanage. 🤪

Ya make 10 paintings, you aren't an artist.

Ya make 20 meals, you aren't a chef.

But when I kill ONE PERSON, I'm a "horrible person" and a "menace to society."

If you have emo grass and don't pay attention to it, it will cut itself.

"Jesus is the pioneer of Hollywood. He's still famous and my favorite idol."

Spell "Ihop," and then say, "'Ness, I ate your peanuts!"