And jokes
Q: What's the difference between a folk singer and a 14" pizza?
A: The pizza can support a family of four.
I went to the store, and yeah...
I was submitting this joke, and I realized Stephen Hawking couldn't.
It had the reCAPTCHA "I'm not a robot."
So I made a parody for "Me, Myself, and I." It goes like this: "Me, Myself, and I, I'm gonna drink bleach until I die!"
Corn and corn, where is popcorn?
Memes
I was born yesterday, and I walked down memory lane. I fell over the edge!
A doctor slept with one of his patients and thought to himself, "This is wrong, but some doctors do it..." He is a vet.
"You look like Barney, I'm choking you too, and your face is turning all purple and blue!"
My parents said to me, "Whenever you say sorry to someone and they say, 'It's okay,' it's really not."
So I said, "Okay."
What does the right eye say to the left eye?
Between you and me, something smells!
An orphan went up to Nikola Tesla and asked to travel in time. He then saw his parents put him in a building, saying, "You now live here!"
When I feel ugly, I just look at my brother and get over it.
What's the difference between you and me? You're not strangling a man with a cloak on.
Why did the man sit on his porch and bark at the postman when he came?
Because his dog had a sore throat!
What is 14 inches long and starts with D?
A Dookie From GREEN DAY
Life is a bitch, and people make it worse.
This thing that I'm in ("am") is a forsaken curse (beta).
I’ll pat your breasts, pat your breasts, cos I’m a baker’s man, and you better bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I’ll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", And then throw you in the fire cos you’re now worthless to me!
What did the daddy bullet say to his son when he missed the bull and hit something brown and gross?
"That is bull crap!"
What is the difference between a small child and a watermelon?
One I eat on the daily and the other is a watermelon.
A girl named Ranch went to the store and stayed there. Why? Because she was ranched!