And jokes

What are three things the Twin Towers have in common with my dad? They are big, sexy, and smashed your mom.

Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear were having a picnic.

Fozzie said, "Do you know where Ms. Piggy is? I haven't seen her all day."

Kermit said, "I don't know, but this extra bacon cheeseburger sure tastes great."

I stood in front of the mirror. "Joseph, I will love and protect you forever," my dick cooed. I looked down at it, a single crystalline tear sliding down my face. I was at peace.

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite type of music?

Rock and Roll.

What do you think of your mom? I have to go now and tyyyytt.

Me: What has two legs and bleeds?

Friend: Um, women? Obviously?

Me: Actually, half a dog. So you're still right.

What’s the difference between a crossdresser and a trans person?

About 3 years.

Why did Michael Joseph Jackson cross the road? To get away from the parents of the boys who stayed in his house, and to go to a store where boys' underwear was 1/2 off.

What's the difference between Michael Joseph Jackson and Richard Pryor?

One was burned by Pepsi. The other burned by coke. Richard Pryor married and had kids, and Michael Joseph Jackson molested kids.

Michael saw mommy kissing Santa Claus and asked her why she did that. Mommy said she was a good girl. Michael Joseph Jackson asked, "Can I be a good girl and kiss Santa Claus?" Mommy replied, "When you grow up to be a rich white woman." And now, we know the rest of the story.

What's the difference between Michael Joseph Jackson and Mickey Mouse? Besides being a disease-carrying rodent, and one a dangerous pedophile, Mickey Mouse can still touch and go near kids.

What's the difference between a normal person's funeral and a person with polio?

The pose!

What has 2 or 3 hands and is always right twice a day when it is broken?

A clock.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Jeffrey Epstein?

Only difference between Michael and Jeffrey is Epstein wasn't a smooth criminal, and Michael was.

Why don't rappers ever play hide-and-seek?

Because good luck hiding when your name's always dropping!

How do rappers stay cool in the studio?

They turn on the mic and DROP THE HEAT!

I saw a girl at my job and we ended up fucking, then the test came back and I have hives from my sister.

What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A prostitute will stop screwing you when you run out of money.

Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and a nursery? A. The abortion clinic won't let you take the baby home.

Q. What's the difference between pizza and an emo?

A. The pizza doesn't cut itself.