And jokes

What goes 100mph and bounces up and down? A baby tied to the back of a truck.

What do a shopping cart and a wheelchair have in common? They both carry vegetables.

What do you call a high school student?

Alone and depressed.

What are the differences between a preschool and a pedophile's basement? Little kids leave preschool.

I used to keep asking a woman if I can rape her until she got so annoyed and said, "Stop asking me."

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

I got my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He came back a week later and said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.

What’s the difference between an apple and a depressed kid? The apple falls from the tree.

What is the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie? He doesn't walkie or talkie.

What's the same about "Make a Wish Program" and "Dark Jokes"?

They never get old.

What is the difference between a Rubik’s cube and a penis? I don’t know, but they both get harder the more you play with them.

How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.

Yo mama like a penny: two-faced, worthless, and in everybody’s pants.

1. What's the difference between Dark humor and Morbid humor? Dark humor is 10 babies in 1 trash can and Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.

2. What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

My sister and I were both adopted from the same country, and my parents say they got us on a "two for one special."

What do Michael Jackson and a Playstation have in common? They both get turned on by kids.

What do you get when you have an annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.

A robber held up a depressed kid at gun point.

The depressed kid took the gun, and said, "I'll do it myself."

The Pope and Donald Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd.

The Pope leaned towards Trump and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives. Whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!”

Trump replies, “I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!”

So the Pope slapped him.

My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better, so I sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wife's broken leg.