And jokes

In a Kahoot, and you're the Twin Tower terrorist: terrorist kill streak 2,996.

Magician: "I am the greatest magician in the whole world. Look, now you see the rabbit in the hat, and now it is gone!"

Redneck girl: "That's nothing. My dad is the greatest magician! He disappears for a whole year and reappears at Christmas for a couple of hours!"

What's the difference between a Russian potato and a U.S. potato?

The U.S. potato can still compete in the Special Olympics.

What does a blind kid and an orphan have in common?

They can’t see their parents.

Stories like Rudolph and Wonder show that different means worse.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

Jack got high and slapped his thigh and said, "You know you wanna."

Jill said yes, picked up her dress and said, "Let's have some fun!"

Silly ole Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.

What is the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?

One of them is picked.

What is big and long and hard?

A cucumber!

In Saudi Arabia, there lived a man named Abdul.

Abdul rhymes with Azul, the Spanish word for blue.

And he probably be lookin' more blue than me.

Your family is so poor, when you knocked on the door for money, I offered you a penny, and when you knocked again, the rock answered and knocked you out.

What’s the difference between orphans and cars?

I don’t have 1080 cars in my basement.

Why did the orphan cross the road?

So he can be hit by a car and be reunited with his parents.

If an emo kid and the quiet kid had a fight, the quiet kid would win because the emo kid would hang himself to death.

There was a girl called Millie, and she had sexy blond hair, and she wanted to chase me, but I told her she had to catch me first if she loves me.

What's common in vampires and American kids?

They both don't get old.

What do you call the door that is cute and adorable?

What is the difference between a Libertarian and a dumb polack?

Not much difference.

What comes in and comes out, but you should never miss it?

Any ideas?

SHIT!!!!

Yo mama so fat, when she falls, they have to call 999 and a crane to pick her up.

Today, I asked my phone "Siri" why am I still single, and it activated the front camera.