And jokes

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree? The apples get picked.

I walked past an orphanage, the orphans started to call me names, and I said, "At least I have a family!"

Q: How many emo kids will it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: None, they all sit in the dark and cry.

I saw a kid crying. I asked him what's wrong, where are your parents? They paused and looked at me funny... GOD I LOVE WORKING AT AN ORPHANAGE.

My wife of 60 years told me, "Let's go upstairs and make love."

I just sighed and said, "Choose one, I can't do both."

I walked to the milk store and did not see my dad.

What do a pimp and a farmer have in common?

They both need a hoe to stay in business.

Yo mama so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing to this day!

You get paper cuts on each eye and walk off a cliff.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

My Dad said he got me from the shops, and I remembered what Grandpa said about him.

My mom and I went to a bank. Hard to say I never heard of it. The name is "Addison Banks."

LOL

Hey Jorden Calerendiá, your last name sounds like a sea food shop that I get my fish from.

Your roasting is trash just like you. Boy, stop roasting on Addison and Gwen and others; you're probably 5 years old trying to dislike that. That roasting is like from 1920, get a life.

Q: What is the difference between a baseball player and an orphan?

A: One knows where home is.

Me: Hey, that's a really heavy bag, do you have a lot of books and magazines in there?

The Quiet Kid: Yeah, magazines.....

What is the difference between artificial vanilla and Marjorie Taylor Greene's children?

Artificial vanilla comes from a beaver's asshole, the children from an asshole's beaver.

What is the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman?

You can unscrew a lightbulb.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

At least one of them gets picked.

A man walked into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian said, "No, you won’t return it."

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple actually gets picked.