And jokes

I went up to the depressed kid and said, "I like ya cuts G!"

What is an orphan's excuse to leave a party?

"I'm gonna make like my parents and run."

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

One, she just holds the bulb to the socket and waits for the world to revolve around her.

Three nuns are having a charity in front of the church.

A man in a trench coat walks up and flashes the three nuns. The first nun had a stroke, the second nun had a stroke, but the third nun, her arm was too short.

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and the people at the old folks home?

They both collapsed.

I was working for Space X. I was instructed to control a satellite's orbit rotation when suddenly the screen went black. I investigated and found out one of Penaldos penalty had hit and destroyed the satellite. Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my dream job!

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

What do a stripper and a coconut have in common? They both have a creamy center.

"I have cancer," the doctor said. "I have 3 days to live," but I was like "fuck it" and killed him. The jury said, "I have life in prison." I shouted, "Yes!" He said, "Thank you, you saved my life!"

What's the difference between an apple and emos?

They both hang on trees.

When you're banging the class slut and the school shooter says to leave his corpses alone.

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple gets picked.

My sister thinks she's so smart. She said only an onion can make you cry, so I brought the belt out, and she started crying.

One day a father went out for some cold beer and threw the 18 pack in the back seat on top of the infant in the car seat. Fortunately, it was light beer.

When it's April Fool's Day, go to an orphan and say, "Their parents should come back!"

Why did the grandmother put wheels on her rocking chair?

... she likes to rock and roll lol.

I'm not a chef, but boy, are these days getting harder and harder to get through.

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?

One of them gets picked.

I heard a joke about heavy metal earlier. It was pretty ironic.

I figured I would steel it and put it on this site. I mean, it was either that, or lose it forever.