And jokes
So, one day a teacher asked, "How many of you have thought of committing suicide?" Half of the class raised their hand, but the teacher said, "Where are Jesse and John?"
"When your mom is pregnant and your best friend learns dad jokes."
Me:.....
What's the difference between an orphan and a second-hand book?
The second-hand book was loved once.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One gets picked.
What does a zebra and I have in common?
We both have stripes.
Memes
I bought myself the life-sized Jesus painting off of Amazon, and they had 4 nails within the pack. All I needed was 1.
Me: Kills the boss and takes his loot.
Everyone else in the office: 😱
Found this girl in Hawaii.
Put a stick up her ass and she said, "Ayi."
An eight-year-old girl struggles to breathe as she lies on a hospital bed and waits for the doctor to come. After the doctor comes, he pulls his cock out of her mouth, and she can breathe much better.
I asked the orphan if he wanted to watch all the Tom Holland Spider-Man movies with me, and he started crying.
What do priests and McDonald's have in common? They both like putting their meat in between 5-year-old buns.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 broke into a daycare and ate 12 children before burning the building down.
What's a footlong and slippery?
A slipper.
I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I shit you knot.
If you're American when you go in the bathroom and you're American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?
European.
If you’re bored, go punch an orphan. What are the parents gonna do?
What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?
Only one moans when I put my meat in it.
Who's the Roblox YouTuber that always sees Among Us and says "stupid"?
My son came up to me and said, "Mom, where are your parents?"
I stared in confusion. I said, "In a far place."
He asked, "In an orphanage?"
What do the Twin Towers and my ad's condom both have in common?
They both broke and everybody cried.