And jokes
What's the difference between cotton and an orphan?
One gets picked.
My brother apparently has this thing called "asthma". Anyway, I took his vape away today, and he was lying on the floor gasping for air, lol. He must really be addicted to it.
My wife told me to treat her like a princess, so I got drunk and drove through the tunnel.
Depression sucks, and so do you.
Blondes like their men how they like their rice: brown, 500 at a time, and all in her bowl.
Memes
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
Did you know that in 2001 there was an Among Us game, except that it was on a plane and had two imposters.
What do genders and the Twin Towers have in common?
There used to be two, now it’s a sensitive subject.
A father bought his depressed son a new house, and then pointing at it, he said, "Hang in there, son!"
what did Germany and Austria do after ww2?
accepted all art students
Yo forehead so big, an airplane can use that as a runway!
I have no problem getting dates online. I’ve also had luck with almonds, cashews, and walnuts.
What's brown and sticky?
A stick. Get your head out of the gutters... Jeez!
What do you call a party planned by Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?
A high school pill party.
What’s the difference between a child and someone who has been kidnapped?
One of them is a domesticated pet.
What's long and black?
The line at Popeyes.
What's the difference between a nuclear reactor and your step sis? You need to use protection for the nuclear reactor.
Are you sad? Then don't be sad, because sad backwards is das, and das no good.
She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!
Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.
And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.