And jokes

What did Trump say to Epstein? "I like my tea like I like my teens: warm, sweet, and freshly made."

What is it you can give at Christmas and still keep? Herpes.

When Elsa said, "Let it go," you took it too seriously and let go of your hairline.

What do you get when you cross Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?

Predator 2.

What did one gay sperm say to the other? "You think we’ll find the egg and all this shit?"

What do garbage bins and horny women have in common?

They wait to be filled with a big load.

I’m a cashier at a grocery store, and when I’m bored, I draw on my hands with a pen. Well, this guy walks up to me and says, “You know, I got mental illnesses from drawing on myself.”

And so, without thinking, I said, “Well, I’ve already got those, so I think I’m fine...” 😳 He looked concerned. Oops lol.

A man was mowing his lawn when blue and red stuff came out instead of grass. Next thing he knew, a smurf was on his shoulder asking if he’s seen his friend.

What's the difference between Al Qaeda and Ms. Frizzle? One flew a plane into the Twin Towers; one flew a bus into the school.

What do you get when you cross a bisexual male that is a catholic priest and a christian police officer that is a bisexual male and a born again homophobic heteroflexable male that is a christian nationalist who is in the closet a gay man that needs to be force out of the closet by any means necessary?

Father O'Reilly ran into a young woman whose mother attended his church at the market. "Ah, Mary Agnes, congratulations!"

She gave him a puzzled look. "On what?"

"Your mother tells me you've been praying to St. Gerard and finally got pregnant, it's a miracle."

Mary Agnes sighed. "My mother needs to get hearing aids if she's going to eavesdrop on my phone calls to friends. I said it'll be a miracle if I get pregnant since the only thing I'm fucking is a St. Bernard."

Yo mama is so fat that when she walks, she causes earthquakes. She is so big that she has her own zip code and gravity field. She is so heavy that she needs a crane to get out of bed. She is so obese that she can't fit in any clothes, except for a circus tent. She is so large that she blocks the sun and causes eclipses.

A tiny psychic escaped from jail, and the news said there a small medium at large.

What’s green and orange and sits at the bottom of the swimming pool?

A baby with burst armbands.

Stephen Hawking would be a bad Pokemon.

He'd always be paralyzed, and his only move would be tackle!

A man and woman were having sex. After they were done, the man asks the woman, "Are you a nurse?" The woman answers, "Yes. How did you know?" The man replies, "Because you took care of me so well." Then the woman asks the man, "Are you an anesthesiologist?" He says proudly, "Yes. How do you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."

The cheetah had a race with a lion, and the cheetah won.

The lion was like, "Why you always a cheetah?"

The cheetah was like, "Why you always lion (lying)?"

What's the difference between a feminist and a pencil?

One of them has a POINT:)

What do apples and witches have in common? They both hang on trees.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?

Apples get picked.