And jokes
If you own a gun and you live in the USA, hide your gun upstairs. Biden can't get it.
Biden: *falls over on steps*
Slavery and discipline, it's kind of the same thing. You get whipped for doing the wrong thing.
What’s the best part about having sex with a pregnant woman?
You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.
What did the lawyer name his twins?
COURTney and CASEy.
My parents were concerned when I said I like to bleed, but at least I cut my risk of cancer and stroke in half.
Memes
Jack and Jill went up the hill. So Jack could lick her candy.
But Jack got a shock and a mouthful of cock.
Because Jill's real name was Randy.
Jack and Jill went up the hill, each with a buck and a quarter. Jill came down with $2.50, that fuckin' whore.
What does a depressed person and a fashion enthusiast have in common?
They both have something hanging in their closet.
China is as fake as bitches with plastic surgery, and they talk about body positivity.
What does a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus have in common? They're both thinking; "Oh sh*t, my mom's gonna kill me!"
What's the difference between a snowman and a snow woman?
Snowballs!
I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, "Does anyone know CPR?" I yelled, "I know the entire alphabet," and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person.
what's the difference between apples and orphans? ... the apples get picked.
What do an orphan's father and Nemo have in common?
They are both nowhere to be found.
What does a pedophile and a light switch have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
You can understand depression if you are still in school and get bullied by bullies, punished by teachers, and scolded by parents for being that quiet kid who says nothing.
What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza? Pizza won't cut itself.
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
What is the difference between a hooker and a feminist?
If you want a hooker to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
I would tell a 9/11 joke, but they usually crash and burn.