And jokes

What is the same with a duck and a bicycle? The handlebars--oh, except for the duck.

What's the difference between PMS and a terrorist?

You can negotiate with the terrorist.

Two men are next to each other. One looks at the other and asks, "Are you a fascist?"

The other man responds, "No, why would I be?"

The first man pulls out a gun and says, "Are you sure?"

The second man says, "Never mind, I am a fascist!"

I love your mom and dad's joke! They made it together and called it your name.

Yo mama's so dumb, her dad said, "You're driving me crazy," and she said, "I didn't know crazy was a place!"

Stephen Hawking drove too far away from the wall and unplugged himself.

What do you get when an American talks to an Aussie and a Kiwi?

Two Aussie.

What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?

The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.

What's the difference between a noodle and a scaboodle fladooodle?

What’s the difference between a whale and Lizzo?

Absolutely nothing.

What do you call a movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bill Cosby?

Predator.

One day I was at school, and this girl had the nerve. She told me to go to the back of the line. I was looking behind me, and she said, "What are you looking for?" I said, "To who [are] you talking to, boo boo?" Like, is you you my momma?

I love Fortnite because I touched grass for the first time and also I love Chung Lei.

What’s the difference between a fetus and a woman?

A fetus has more rights.

I looked at you, and you were bald until I got slapped up by Will Smith to the back of your head and saw the Great Wall of China.

Your hairline is so wonky, "Wheels on the Bus" goes round and round on your hairline.

One thing that Miles Morales and Black men have in common is that they're both rip-offs.

An Asian gets a choice between his rice cooker or his son. He instantly picks the cooker and says, "He got a B+ in maths last week; he's a failure!"

Why did the towers fall? Because someone in Call of Duty hijacked the planes and crashed them into it.

Why do animals cross the road?

Because it is funny, do you say "dogs" and "cats?"