And jokes
Lmao Trump and Putin dislike my jokes! 🤣😂
Why doesn't a Muslim girl like her dad and namaz?
Because she has to get on her knees.
Why are school shootings branded “very American”?
1. They usually happen in the USA.
2. They’re like the Fourth of July: there’s a lot of loud banging and kids screaming.
I found an alien in my backyard. I put him to work. He went to a farm, and I never saw him again. Moments later, he is on the Daily Planet acting as a reporter. A green rock smashed my house. I called him back, and he passed out.
I remarked, "You lazy!"
A husband walks into the bedroom door holding two aspirin and a glass of water.
His wife asked what that was for.
"It is for your headache."
"I don't have a headache."
He smiles. "Gotcha!!!!"
Memes
When the school shooter shoots the autistic kid and he thinks he's having an orgasm.
Q: What’s a koala's face song? A: Never gonna give you up BECAUSE it hangs on the tree and the person is the tree?
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
Why did the Titanic and the iceberg hate each other?
Because the Titanic hit it.
I had to get my dog. Is it a tree? Was your time and I had fun today after dinner. I had...
What is the difference between a human and a burger?
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
What is yellow and can’t fly?
A school bus.
What's black and white and red all over????? A zebra in a blender!
Why do you have to wipe yourself with toilet paper? Because bugs can crawl, eat your poop, and drink your pee!
Sans: Why did the skeleton go to the party?
Papyrus: Why?
Sans: 'Cause he was too fat and ugly!
Papyrus: AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHA LOLOL,OLOLOL
Rubbing everywhere but not the clit and asking, "Do you like that?"
(dude wtf)
Steven Hawking's Sesh Cave, entry 50p, guaranteed Budweiser and ecstasy. Maybe a gram of heroin. You'll most likely see a mental 90-year-old guy absolutely going mental on the dance floor with a Stella in one hand and another on his crotch.
What did Pepper say to Spray?
"Hey Spray, I'm Pepper, and I think we should fight crime!"
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer?
The prostitute can wash her “crack” and sell it again.