And jokes

What's black and white and red all over????? A zebra in a blender!

Why do you have to wipe yourself with toilet paper? Because bugs can crawl, eat your poop, and drink your pee!

Sans: Why did the skeleton go to the party?

Papyrus: Why?

Sans: 'Cause he was too fat and ugly!

Papyrus: AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHA LOLOL,OLOLOL

Rubbing everywhere but not the clit and asking, "Do you like that?"

(dude wtf)

Steven Hawking's Sesh Cave, entry 50p, guaranteed Budweiser and ecstasy. Maybe a gram of heroin. You'll most likely see a mental 90-year-old guy absolutely going mental on the dance floor with a Stella in one hand and another on his crotch.

What did Pepper say to Spray?

"Hey Spray, I'm Pepper, and I think we should fight crime!"

What’s the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer?

The prostitute can wash her “crack” and sell it again.

What are the four seasons?

Salt, Pepper, Sugar, and Flour.

Your momma's so nasty, she sucked your daddy's dick and kissed you good night!

What do kids with cancer and cancer jokes have in common?

CANCER!

Just kidding, they are both fun to laugh at.

The duck walked up to the lemonade stand.

And he said to the man Running the stand, "Hey! Bomp bomp bomp Got any grapes?"

Driving on a road at night and hit a speed bump. Remember, there are no speed bumps... I hit Bambi!

What’s a cow with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows.

I went to the bathroom and into a stall to see a hole in the wall. It reminded me of "The Lickable Wallpaper" from "Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory." I jokingly started licking. Though, the carrot tasted musky and kinda wrinkly.

A skeleton walks into a bar and said it takes "backbone" to mess with me, and if you try to insult me, I have thick skin.

You’re so lame, you don’t have a superpower!

"Yah, I do!"

Oh yeah? What is it?

"My diaphragm contracts and moves downwards into my chest cavity and my lungs expand!"

That’s breathing, Jim.

"NO IT’S NOT, JACOB, YOU CAN’T PROVE IT!"

What's black, white, and red all over?

Lossvagus school shooting.

What has tree roots and what do I have for kids? What is the difference between a human and a used tire?

Tree roots are under the tree, and used tires are under the Hummer.

What is the difference between a house and a car? A car can drive and a house can not drive.

I'll pat-your-breasts, pat-your-breasts, cos I'm a baker's man, and you bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I'll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", and then put you in the oven for the bitch and me!