And jokes

Why didn’t the orphan play baseball?

Because I took the bat and swung it at their kneecaps, and now they can’t run. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

I went to the store and I saw no oranges, and I went to ask the cashier:

"Cashier: Which one?"

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apples get picked! 🤪

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Apples actually get picked.

Thanks for the birthday wishes. It's been an odd one this year, as some of you know, my father suddenly passed away on my birthday last year, and anyone who knew the old man knew he had a sledgehammer wit!

Good on ya dad, ya definitely got the last laugh!

Your mama is so fat, it said "To be continued..." then it loaded and said "One person at a time!"

One thing you can ask Mario:

"Can you jump up and down for me?"

What do Gay Men and Minorities have in common?

My dad hates them both!

When you’re in India and you start hearing a tick, tick, tick, tick, you run!

When an orphan finds out who their parents are, and then finds out they're dead.

What does a man masturbating and a mayo bottle have in common?

They can both squirt out their cum.

Hi, welcome to Mario's pizzeria/abortion clinic.

Where no fetus can beat us, and your loss is our sauce.

What's the difference between your mom and a mosquito?

Answer: The mosquito stops sucking if you slap hard enough.

I was in my first space mission for NASA. As we were orbiting the asteroid belt, I saw a figure. I couldn’t tell who it was, but he spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. He said, “I’m looking for my freekicks and penalties, can you help me find them?” We then decided to aid him.

Q. What's the difference between people and a toilet?

A. Neither does R. Kelly.

My mom wanted me to brush my hair.

And I just told her that even pet animals don't like their hair brushed...

Did you know that an orphan can take a selfie and a family photo at the same time?

Person 1: How smart are you?

Person 2: Really smart.

Person 1: Ok. If you have 3 ghosts and take away 2, how many are left?

Person 2: 1 ghost is left.

Person 1: Wrong! 0 ghosts are left because ghosts don't exist!

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

What do you call cancers? Loyal, protective, and caring.