And jokes

Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 80 people.

Then it exploded.

What happens if you mix the two names "Shannon" and "Stephanie"? You have the name "Shanny."

I met this kid and he was being bullied by 9 people. I Asked 1 whats going on. They all said another one to bully they all tried hitting me and then my mates which was like 15 of them came in and it was like war all over again.

What's the difference between anal and oral?

Oral makes your day whereas anal makes your whole weak.

A polar bear walks into a bar, asks the barman, “A pint of lager................. and a packet of crisps.”

The barman asks, “Why the large pause?”

What does this joke and half a deck of cards have in common?

You can't even deal with it!

What's the difference between Madlen Makan and Stephen Hawking?

Nothing, they're both dead.

Don’t you hate it when you are driving in a school zone and the speed bump starts screaming?

Is there anything worse than when it's raining cats and dogs? Yes, hailing taxis.

I dated a girl, and I didn’t know she was previously in an abusive relationship.

I thought she just REALLY hated high-fives.

Yo mama so fat, she went to space and there was no space left.

What's the difference between your mom and a mosquito?

Answer: The mosquito stops sucking if you slap hard enough.

What's the difference between you and your mom?

I slept with your mom.

Have you heard the word of the day? It’s "legs".

Now, let’s go back to my place and I can spread them.

If Slade were a vegetable, he’d be a BRUSSELS SPROUT... small, bitter, and NOBODY wants him at the table.

Why was the rapper always in good shape?

Because he dropped the mic and picked up weights!

Q. What's the difference between Donald Trump and orange Jello?

A. The Jello has a higher IQ.

What do Batman and a Black man have in common?

Answer: They can't go anywhere without Robin.

What do you call an @EB with no ears?

An Explain B.

Jack and Jill went up the hill so they can fetch some pee. Jack fell down and broke his whole body. Jill just laughed and didn’t care, so now they have a daughter.