And jokes
My balls are so purple that I use them as crayons, and I am not talking about the balls you play with. I am talking about the boy balls.
No one will fight me, who is brave and strong enough to beat this beta simp femboy?
I was being interviewed by Elon Musk. He asked, "Where are you from?" and I said Portugal. He replied, "So you are a fellow countryman of a Pen merchant whose freekick ball broke my rover on Mars. Get out!!" Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Penaldo, for costing me my dream job!
What's white, yellow and goes 40 mph?
A train driver's egg sandwich.
What's the difference between Jesus and Christmas tree lights?
They can both flash.
Memes
A bully told an orphan to cry to his parents, so he did.
His adoptive parents were very supportive about the situation, and everything was settled. He died in an accident a day later.
So I walk into a bar, and there’s people waiting in line to punch me in the face.
That’s the punch line.
As ruler of a kingdom, I wanted a knight. Duke Leo Pessi IV offered himself but wanted a wife in return. I offered my beautiful daughter to him. However, he slapped her and proceeded to wreck my castle. All this whilst crying “I don’t want princess, I want farmer!”
DAMN YOU PESSI!
My willy was feeling itchy, so I decided to go to the doctor.
My doctor was foreign and spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. As I returned home, I noticed my willy was gone! Pessi stole my PENis thinking it was a Penalty just so he could statpad. SHAME ON YOU!
One rainy day a NASCAR race was going on and they had no other choice but to use this bitch's forehead. https://sportsrecruits.com/athlete/morgan_tomporowski
What do my wife and dinner have in common? They are both vegetables.
So, I went up to an emo and I said, "Why did you steal my bar code from my chips?"
Yo mama so stupid that she sat on the TV and watched the couch.
We are in a matrix, wake up.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to get to the house. They turned the lights out. Jill shouts, "It's a dildo, WTF?"
Helen Keller threw the garbage out and broke a vehicle.
What's black and yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of orphans.
If you make jokes about SH, you're not funny, and if you do, I'm gonna assume you're some 12-year-old who wants to be an edge lord. I don't really care if people get pressed.
What don't Rick Astley and the Twin Towers have in common?
One won't let you down, while the other will.
What does Stephen Hawking and a prostitute have in common?
They both charge.
Why does Aaron have no friends? Because his spine is weird and he is fat.