And jokes
Fat girls give the best head because they are hungry and eat the most dick.
A lady comes into the boys' bathroom and a boy sees her.
"This is not a girls' bathroom," he says.
She answers, "I don’t care," she says, "I NEED TO PEE!"
Q: What is the difference between a dead body and an orphan?
A: The dead body had a family.
Did you hear about the astronaut that stepped in gum and got stuck?
He got stuck in orbit! Hehhehe.
"Fuck" and "sex" are hot, which is fire.
Memes
My wife called me ugly, and then when she found out how much money I actually make, she called me ugly and broke.
Someone burgled my house the other day. It was terrible.
They ripped all of the front and back pages of my dictionaries. Things went from bad to worse.
You give some people 2.54 centimeters, and they take 1.6 kilometers.
What do you call a guy with a bald head who loves to eat biscuits, raisins, and caster sugar?
Gary Baldy (Garibaldi)!
People who wannabe rich and famous rappers should always look at Tekashi 6ix9ine, and learn what not to do.
I just got my doctor's test results and I'm really upset about it. Turns out, I'm not gonna be a doctor.
A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian said:
"F*ck off! You won’t bring it back."
What’s the difference between a fetus and a jar of pickles?
The pickles aren’t as tasty in a jar.
What’s the difference between a baby and a baked potato?
About 140 calories.
BREAKING NEWS
All the desert regions in the world are now considered lush rainforests. They house many different species of life and have significantly helped with the constant carbon dioxide emissions.
The reason why is because... Your texts are so dry.
A gingerbread man walks into the doctor’s office with a broken arm. He asks the doctor, “Doc, what should I do? My arm is broken!”
The doctor then looks at him and says, “Have you tried icing?”
So I walked into my bathroom to clean some stuff, and no one ever told me you can't put phones in the bathtub!
"Rapeboat" has six fingers on each hand and one big eyebrow. Signs of inbreeding.
What's the difference between a rapist's mouth and a sewer?
Nothing, they both spout shit.
What word starts with “F” and ends in “uck”?
Firetruck.