And jokes

One day, this dad and his son went to a basketball factory, and the son said, "I want to buy some balls." The dad said, "What for?" The son said, "So you can have some balls."

A man walks into a forest and sees a girl crying. He asks her, "What is wrong?"

She replies, "I lost my family, my friends, and my home."

The man then unties his pants and says, "Then young lady, your day is about to get worse!"

My friend said to me, "How do you spell Tom?" and I said, "T-O-M-M." He said, "That's not how you spell 'it's Tom.' You have to take out one 'M'."

So I said, "But which one?"

I'm in the alagba association. Call 666-666-666 to join the gang. It's free and free kills duidui.

Why did the pillow cross the road?

Because his cousin's name was Koshin, and he didn't want to live anymore.

I have a trans friend.

He is in a polyamorous relationship and would be straight if they had a dick.

There was a news story the other day where a magician disappeared. He was like "At the count of 3 I will disappear aight...Uno, Dos," and he disappeared without a trace.

I have eaten 6 babies, 9 adolescent children, and 2 infants in the past week ;p

What has 4 legs and 1 arm?

A pitbull in a children's play area.

What's red, green, and slimy and slides down the chip shop window?

Abortion of chips.

Did you hear about the needle and thread shop?

Never mind, it was needle-ess.

The past, the present, and the future were having an argument. It was tense.

Your friend took a shower and used Pantene, but I got a watermelon to keep me clean.

What's the difference between a snowman and a snowgirl?

Snowballs.

What time is it when you get home and you can't walk?

What is a good time for dinner, and what do I do for you? And dinner, dinner, and what, yyyuyy dinner? 🍴 Night time.

What’s long, yellow, and doesn’t float?

A school bus filled with children.

There was a man in a tower, and the other man thought it was a girl, so he said, "Let down your long hair." He said, "OK, I will let my big, super long, hairy penis down for you to climb and suck." Then the other man said, "If you have such a long dick, suck it yourself. See ya, b*tch."

Earlier that day...

Mars: Okay Venus, you need to stop with the puns.

Mission on space.

Mars: Moon? You okay?

Moon:...

Mars: Moon come on! Stop spacing out!

*Venus and Moon giving her the smirk*

What’s red and bad for your dental health? A brick.

What’s invisible and bad for you to breathe? Mustard gas.

What’s green and bad for you to drink? Radioactive waste.