Ancient Rome jokes
How do you cut ancient Rome in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
Which Roman emperor was a mouse? Julius Cheeser!
What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth?
A "glad-he-ate-her".
What is Julius Caesar’s favorite food?
Roman noodles.
"Julius Caesar" isneezer
Julius Caesar & Tork Poettschke at the doctor's office:
"The doctor has now sent me the bill."
"Make him aware of his duty of confidentiality!"
When Caesar’s wife told him she dreamed he should beware the Ides of March, he scoffed and said, “What? It’s not like I’m gonna be stabbed 23 times by my best buddies!”
Why did they call it "Aqua Claudia"?
Because it carried water, and another word for water is aqua. Duh!
What are the kids addicted to these days? Juulius Caesar (Juuls).
How do you embarrass an archaeologist? You give him a tampon and ask what period it's from.
You travel to the past into the era where Julius Caesar is still alive. He thinks you may be from the future to bring him good news. He asks you, "How do I die?"
You reply with: "Surrounded by friends."
Russian history in 5 words: "And then things got worse."
What's the difference between a silver medal and a priest?
They both came in a little behind.
