Ancient Rome jokes
"Julius Caesar" isneezer
Julius Caesar & Tork Poettschke at the doctor's office:
"The doctor has now sent me the bill."
"Make him aware of his duty of confidentiality!"
A man complains to a slave dealer: "The slave you sold me died!"
"By the gods," replies the dealer, "he never did that when I owned him!"
What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth? A "glad-he-ate-her".
When Caesar’s wife told him she dreamed he should beware the Ides of March, he scoffed and said, “What? It’s not like I’m gonna be stabbed 23 times by my best buddies!”
Which Roman emperor was a mouse? Julius Cheeser!
How do you cut ancient Rome in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
The Romans conquered Africa, they conquered Europe, they conquered Britain, then they stopped. They probably ran out of conkers.
Why did the Carthaginian say Rome lost the war?
Because they were just roman around.
Caesar went to the future only to see how the Romans forgot Julius Caesar but only made a salad... I think it would have been better if Caesar stayed dead.
What was the Roman Empire cut in half by?
A pair of Caesars.
Why did they call it "Aqua Claudia"?
Because it carried water, and another word for water is aqua. Duh!
What are the kids addicted to these days? Juulius Caesar (Juuls).
What is Julius Caesar’s favorite food?
Roman noodles.
