Ancient Rome jokes

How do you cut ancient Rome in half?

With a pair of Caesars.

Which Roman emperor was a mouse? Julius Cheeser!

What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth?

A "glad-he-ate-her".

What is Julius Caesar’s favorite food?

Roman noodles.

"Julius Caesar" isneezer

When Caesar’s wife told him she dreamed he should beware the Ides of March, he scoffed and said, “What? It’s not like I’m gonna be stabbed 23 times by my best buddies!”

Why did they call it "Aqua Claudia"?

Because it carried water, and another word for water is aqua. Duh!

What are the kids addicted to these days? Juulius Caesar (Juuls).