Ancient Rome jokes
A man complains to a slave dealer: "The slave you sold me died!"
"By the gods," replies the dealer, "he never did that when I owned him!"
Julius Caesar & Tork Poettschke at the doctor's office:
"The doctor has now sent me the bill."
"Make him aware of his duty of confidentiality!"
"Julius Caesar" isneezer
Why did they call it "Aqua Claudia"?
Because it carried water, and another word for water is aqua. Duh!
Which Roman emperor was a mouse? Julius Cheeser!
What are the kids addicted to these days? Juulius Caesar (Juuls).
When Caesar’s wife told him she dreamed he should beware the Ides of March, he scoffed and said, “What? It’s not like I’m gonna be stabbed 23 times by my best buddies!”
What is Julius Caesar’s favorite food?
Roman noodles.
What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth? A "glad-he-ate-her".
How do you cut ancient Rome in half?
With a pair of Caesars.