Alzheimers jokes

Yo mama is so fat, she gave a memory foam mattress Alzheimer's.

Do you remember what Bruce Willis' last movies were?

Neither does he.

Why do-- wait, what am I saying? What am I talking about?

Doctor: I have bad news.

Man: What?

Doctor: There are two things wrong with you. First, you have cancer.

Man: Oh, no...

Doctor: Second, you have Alzheimer's.

Man: Well, at least I don't have cancer!

Breaking news: Man with Alzheimer's forgets he's blind and recovers from visual impairment.

You know who else suffers from Alzheimer's...

You know who else suffers from Alzheimer's.

I'm always forgetting these kinds of jokes. I also forgot my son's name.

A 10 year old girl meets with her doctor. The doctor tells her “Katie, I’m sorry to have to tell you that your parents didn’t survive the accident. Sadly, our tests also show that you have early onset Alzheimer’s disease.”

Katie replies “well at least my parents will look after me.”

I’ve got a joke about Alzheimers.

Um.

Oh no. I can’t actually remember it.

"Who am I? Why am I typing?"

What would be the most heartbreaking scene in a dementia film? I forgor 💀.

What is the worst combination of illnesses?

Alzheimer’s and diarrhea. You’re running but can’t remember where.

The first rule of the Alzheimer’s club is...

Wait, where are we again?

Grandpa: "Sonny, let me tell you something. There's only one damn thing in this whole world worse than Alzheimer's."

Boy: "What's that?"

Grandpa: "What's what?"

Ads for meds be like: Chloroform, it's Chloroform, helps with itchy eyes. Side affects may include Acute Flaccid Myelitis (AFM), AIDS (HIV/AIDS), Alphaviruses, Alzheimer's Disease, Alzheimer's Diseases (Spanish), Arboviral Encephalitis, Arthritis, Babesiois, Cancer, Unintentional injuries, Chronic lower respiratory disease, Stroke and cerebrovascular diseases, Alzheimer's disease, Diabetes, Influenza and pneumonia.

Whenever my grandparents apologize, I say "forgive and forget". They are really obedient.

Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted me and my dad and walk home from home and walk home and walk walk home.

So anyway, this old guy goes to the doctors. The doctor says, "It's bad news, you've got cancer and Alzheimer's." The old guy replies, "At least I've not got cancer!"

A cop pulls over an old man.

The cop walks up to the old man and says, "Do you know why I pulled you over?"

The old man said, "No."

I find it best to screw people with memory loss. I mean, what's my grandma gonna do? Describe me to the cops?