New Alzheimers Jokes

When I was a kid, I knew a woman named Betty Pears.

She died a horrible death from Alzheimer's.

I thought a pear was a fruit, not a vegetable!

I think we should change Alzheimer’s disease to Joe Biden disease.

Knock, knock.

(Who’s there?)

Roger.

(Roger who?)

Roger walks away, silently sobbing, having realized his mother’s Alzheimer’s is getting worse!

What's the natural cure to an old man's inability to forgive people?

Alzheimer's.

Yo mama is so fat, she gave a memory foam mattress Alzheimer's.

Do you remember what Bruce Willis' last movies were?

Neither does he.

Why do-- wait, what am I saying? What am I talking about?

Doctor: I have bad news.

Man: What?

Doctor: There are two things wrong with you. First, you have cancer.

Man: Oh, no...

Doctor: Second, you have Alzheimer's.

Man: Well, at least I don't have cancer!

Breaking news: Man with Alzheimer's forgets he's blind and recovers from visual impairment.

You know who else suffers from Alzheimer's...

You know who else suffers from Alzheimer's.

I'm always forgetting these kinds of jokes. I also forgot my son's name.

A 10 year old girl meets with her doctor. The doctor tells her “Katie, I’m sorry to have to tell you that your parents didn’t survive the accident. Sadly, our tests also show that you have early onset Alzheimer’s disease.”

Katie replies “well at least my parents will look after me.”

I’ve got a joke about Alzheimers.

Um.

Oh no. I can’t actually remember it.

"Who am I? Why am I typing?"

What is the worst combination of illnesses?

Alzheimer’s and diarrhea. You’re running but can’t remember where.

The first rule of the Alzheimer’s club is...

Wait, where are we again?

Grandpa: "Sonny, let me tell you something. There's only one damn thing in this whole world worse than Alzheimer's."

Boy: "What's that?"

Grandpa: "What's what?"

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