Political correctness has gone too far! You have to say "cognitive decline" rather than "Alzheimer's ridden shitbag"!
My first thought when I read Betty Pear's obituary was, "Thank God for Alzheimer's!"
If you're ever in need of a punching bag, just go to your local Alzheimer's unit.
They'll forget you were there in like three minutes.
Why can you rub a dog's nose in their pee when they go on the carpet but when I do the same to an Alzheimer's patient I get fired from the nursing home?
Q' What's an Alzheimer's victim's favorite type of comedy?
A. I forget.
I hope Betty Pears was a Buckcherry fan.
She literally died a crazy bitch.
When I was a kid, I knew a woman named Betty Pears.
She died a horrible death from Alzheimer's.
I thought a pear was a fruit, not a vegetable!
I think we should change Alzheimer’s disease to Joe Biden disease.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Roger.
(Roger who?)
Roger walks away, silently sobbing, having realized his mother’s Alzheimer’s is getting worse!
What's the natural cure to an old man's inability to forgive people?
Alzheimer's.
Yo mama is so fat, she gave a memory foam mattress Alzheimer's.
Do you remember what Bruce Willis' last movies were?
Neither does he.
Why do-- wait, what am I saying? What am I talking about?
Doctor: I have bad news.
Man: What?
Doctor: There are two things wrong with you. First, you have cancer.
Man: Oh, no...
Doctor: Second, you have Alzheimer's.
Man: Well, at least I don't have cancer!
Breaking news: Man with Alzheimer's forgets he's blind and recovers from visual impairment.
You know who else suffers from Alzheimer's...
You know who else suffers from Alzheimer's.
I'm always forgetting these kinds of jokes. I also forgot my son's name.
A 10 year old girl meets with her doctor. The doctor tells her “Katie, I’m sorry to have to tell you that your parents didn’t survive the accident. Sadly, our tests also show that you have early onset Alzheimer’s disease.”
Katie replies “well at least my parents will look after me.”
I’ve got a joke about Alzheimers.
Um.
Oh no. I can’t actually remember it.
"Who am I? Why am I typing?"
