Alzheimers jokes
Q. What's the difference between an Alzheimer's patient and a tomato? A. A tomato isn't a vegetable.
What's an Alzheimer's victim's favorite musical group?
The Who?
Q. What do a one-story house and an Alzheimer's victim have in common? A. Nothing going on upstairs.
My doctor told me I had Alzheimer’s.
I said to him, “I don’t remember asking.”
I know how to cut down on Medicare expenses.
Lock Alzheimer's patients in dog cages when they misbehave.
Political correctness has gone too far! You have to say "cognitive decline" rather than "Alzheimer's ridden shitbag"!
My first thought when I read Betty Pear's obituary was, "Thank God for Alzheimer's!"
If you're ever in need of a punching bag, just go to your local Alzheimer's unit.
They'll forget you were there in like three minutes.
Why can you rub a dog's nose in their pee when they go on the carpet but when I do the same to an Alzheimer's patient I get fired from the nursing home?
Q' What's an Alzheimer's victim's favorite type of comedy?
A. I forget.
I hope Betty Pears was a Buckcherry fan.
She literally died a crazy bitch.
When I was a kid, I knew a woman named Betty Pears.
She died a horrible death from Alzheimer's.
I thought a pear was a fruit, not a vegetable!
I think we should change Alzheimer’s disease to Joe Biden disease.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Roger.
(Roger who?)
Roger walks away, silently sobbing, having realized his mother’s Alzheimer’s is getting worse!
What's the natural cure to an old man's inability to forgive people?
Alzheimer's.
Yo mama is so fat, she gave a memory foam mattress Alzheimer's.
Do you remember what Bruce Willis' last movies were?
Neither does he.
Why do-- wait, what am I saying? What am I talking about?
Doctor: I have bad news.
Man: What?
Doctor: There are two things wrong with you. First, you have cancer.
Man: Oh, no...
Doctor: Second, you have Alzheimer's.
Man: Well, at least I don't have cancer!
Breaking news: Man with Alzheimer's forgets he's blind and recovers from visual impairment.