All jokes

I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, “Does anyone know CPR?!”

I yelled, “I know the entire alphabet!”, and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person, he didn't hear the joke.

Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.

Your hairline retreats from your face just like all the guys that look at you.

Why is it so cheap to throw a party at a haunted house? Because the ghosts bring all the boos.

Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.

I feel bad for the kids at Sandy Hook. All they wanted was books, but got magazines instead.

What’s black and white and red all over?

A crushed nun!

What’s that black stuff between an elephants toes?

Slow natives.

All countries will get Covid.

Except China, they got it right off the bat.

Yo mama is so dumb, she spent all her money on free subscriptions!

What do you call a white woman working at an all black company?

Crack/her

What did the autistic kid say to his girlfriend after they broke up?

"I thought what we had was special!"

What does the school shooter do after shooting all the kids?

Shoot kids in them ;)

The boys joking be like:

One guy: "Balls!"

All the other guys: "Hahahahaha!"

We gave Erik ten Hag 7-Up after Liverpool thrashed Man Utd 7-0. He said, "F**k you all!"

Your mum is so fat, all her relationships are long distance.

Cars are like bullets; you jump in front of one, and they solve all your problems.

All terrorists like starting a new year off with a bang.

I played Uno with my Mexican friend.

That bastard took all the green cards!

Why are all lesbians bad at math?

Because they can't multiply.

Why don’t I shut myself all the time?

I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.