Ale

Ale Jokes

Terrorist

What does an Al Qaeda terrorist and a flexible man have in common?

They can blow themselves up.

Game

Hey guys, wish me luck on my game Al-Nassr vs. Raed Al-Raed. I have 604 million followers on Instagram, but we are not gonna be able to beat that. Can we get to 69 followers, please and thankyou?

Math

If Al Gore started a math rock band, it should be called Algorhythm.

Al Qaeda

What's the difference between Al Qaeda and Ms. Frizzle? One flew a plane into the Twin Towers; one flew a bus into the school.

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  • Virgin

    Bin Laden promised 76 virgins to Al-Qaeda.

    Instead, there was one 76-year-old virgin.

    Sex

    Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"

    Man: "Yes!"

    Reporter: "Name?"

    Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."

    Reporter: "Sex?"

    Man: "Three to five times a week."

    Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"

    Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."

    Reporter: "Holy cow!"

    Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."

    Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"

    Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."

    Reporter: "Oh dear!"

    Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."

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  • Name

    My first name is Al and my last name is Coholic :) #yuengling.f/wat

    Bin Laden

    Some people think Bin Laden is dead, but some think he's alive.

    He is the Al-Qaeda Elvis.

    Teacher

    One day, little Johnny and little Susan were in bible class. Little Susan had been tired that day, so she kept falling asleep. The teacher said to little Susan, "Who is our Lord and Savior?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt with a push pin, and she yelled, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher goes, "That's right, go back to bed." Then, the next thing the teacher asked was, "Who gave up their son for our sins?" Little Johnny poked her again, and she yelled, "God Almighty!" The teacher says, "That's right, go back to bed." The next question the teacher asked was, "What did Adam say to Eve after their 13th child?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt again. She yelled, "If you stick that thing in me again, I am going to break it in half and shove it up your own ass and see how you like it!"

    Tunnel

    Al Fayed’s son arrives at heaven’s gates and sees his driver.

    He shouts “you stupid cunt!”

    The driver says, “Watch, Boss?”

    Dodi replies...:

    “I said I WANT TO FUCK DI IN THE TUNNEL NOT FUCKING DIE IN THE TUNNEL!”

    Light Bulb

    So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...

    How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.

    There’s also one about a bowling ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though. I'll research that.

    Rip-off

    "I've only been ripped off twice in my life. The first time was when I ordered three kebabs and they only delivered two. The second time was when we signed Cristiano Ronaldo."

    -Al Nassr owner

    Pilot

    It's not nice to make 9/11 jokes. My uncle died in 9/11...

    He was one of al qaeda's best pilots.

    Teeth

    I've been drinking from a tall cup.

    His teeth look like Twin Towers, Al-Qaeda blown him up.