Alabama jokes
How can a person from Alabama tell that someone is an illegal immigrant?
If they are dating someone that isn't related to them.
What do you call your brother in Alabama? Daddy.
So I was at home, and I went to take a shower, and I accidentally walked in on my brother having sex with some girl. So I left. A couple minutes later, I needed my headphones to listen to music, so I asked my mom where she was. She told me she was in the shower. Our house only has one bathroom. Sweet home Alabama.
When you ask your sister if she wanna smash, but then she grabs the Switch.
Why is reverse cowgirl banned in Alabama? Because you should never turn your back on family.
Why do people in Alabama always swipe left on Tinder?
Because they aren't family!
If you get a divorce with your husband, does that still mean you’re siblings?
Why was Helen Keller truly an inspiration?
She learned how to read and write despite being from Alabama!
Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Alabama burned down?
Almost took out the whole trailer park.
You know that you f**k better than dad?
I know, mom says that too. (Typical Alabama Family)
I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me.
She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand.
Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys. I asked and she said that’s my fam as well. I noticed an Alabama driver's license. I asked which one was her dad. She said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter. I casually asked what he did for work. Self-employed? She said that’s the last time I use ancestry.com!
The reason why Trailer Park Boys is set in Nova Scotia and not Alabama is because if it was set in Alabama, then they would have to record every instance of incest. And the show's writers would need to know how to cram all of it in one season.
What do you call a group of black men hanging from a tree?
Alabama wind chimes.
Daughter: Where was I born?
Dad: Alabama.
Daughter: That is nice.
Mum: We have never been to Alabama.
Dad: RUN!
What do you call a white girl that can run faster than her brothers?
The redneck virgin.
What has 50 legs but can't walk?
25 disabled children.
How do you circumcise someone from Alabama?
Kick his sister's jaw.
Most states:
"It's ok, it won't be awkward. We're still friends."
Alabama:
"She didn't wanna be my girlfriend anymore. But she said she'll still be my sister."
I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing each other, and I said, "Excuse me, where is the bathroom?" The man said, "Right over there." I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say, "Dad, I have to go to school soon."
Sometimes I wish my gf was here, that way we could have some fun in my bed. Then I realize she's right across the hall. (SWEET HOME ALABAMA)!!