Alabama jokes
I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me.
She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand.
Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys. I asked and she said that’s my fam as well. I noticed an Alabama driver's license. I asked which one was her dad. She said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter. I casually asked what he did for work. Self-employed? She said that’s the last time I use ancestry.com!
What dating app do people in Alabama use? Ancestry.com.
Why can't Juice WRLD hit rock bottom?
Because he's too high.
I hate family reunions. I see too many of my exes there.
I had morning wood one day. Then my sister saw it and said, "I can help!"
Mal is from alabama
When Cincinnati played Alabama in 2021, they wore black at their funeral! 🤣
Why can’t orphans get married in Alabama?
Because they don’t have a sister.
What's a brother and sister from Alabama's favorite sex position?
The cowgirl.
In Alabama... How do you know your sister is having periods? Your dad's penis tastes like blood.
Why in Alabama people don't use doggy style... Cuz you don't turn your back to your family.
Your mom gay.
One day I met a blind guy and I said, "You should see Mt. Cheaha!"
How do you circumcise someone from Alabama?
Kick his sister's jaw.
Family feud after finding out about Alabama.
Abortion is bad.
President Joe Biden was jogging through some different jogging paths around this great county we live in and was jogging through Alabama and fell off into a swamp filled with killer alligators, and these 3 boys named Willie, Roman, and Little Johnny saw him fall in and jumped in and drug him to safety, and the president was like "Thank you, thank you, thank you SOOO much. I'm gonna give you boys a reward for saving my life," and asks them what their names were and what they wanted. The first boy said, "My name's Willy, and I want to go to Disneyland," and the president said, "No problem, and I'll take you personally." The 2nd boy said, "My name's Roman, and I want an autographed pair of Air Jordan Nikes," and the president said, "No troubles at all," and the 3rd boy says, "My name's Little Johnny, and I want a power wheelchair with an awesome stereo and killer wheels," and the president says, "You don't look handicapped, Little Johnny," and Little Johnny said, "I'm not, but as soon as I tell my parents who I saved, I will be"🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I feel wrong. What does this make us?
Still cousins.
Sam Gonzales
Timmy: *grabs box of Trojans*
Daddy:...
Timmy: Well come on diddy!
Daddy: Well shit lets go son!
Both: YEE YEE
SWEET HOME ALABAMA
Why is reverse cowgirl illegal in Alabama? Because you should never turn your back on family.