You don't need a parachute to go skydiving, just to go skydiving twice.
I refuse to go bungee jumping. I was brought into this world from broken plastic, and I REFUSE to die the same way.
Friend: Why do you like Minecraft so much?
Me: Because I love miners!
The orphan wanted to go on a field trip, but he needed his parent's signature.
Two baked beans traveled around Australia.
They both ended up in Cairns.
Is it possible for an orphan to go on an away trip?
No, because they already are on one.
POV: You are 7 years old and you find a stick. SWORD.
What is a pirate's favorite ride? A carrr!
What is an orphan's favorite movie?
Home Alone.
Mario: Princess Peach got kidnapped again!
Luigi: Where did they go?
Mario: To the left.
Luigi: Fuck
What do you call an Indian? Indiana Jones.
"Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate."
Two pirates, Morty and Sol, meet in a bar. Sol has a patch over one eye, a hook for a hand, and a wooden peg leg. “Ye gads, matey,” says Morty. “What happened to ya?” Sol says, “Me pirate ship was attacked, and a lucky shot lopped off me leg. So now I got me a wooden peg.”
“And yer hand?” asks Marty.
“When me ship sank, a shark bit me hand off. So now I got me a hook.”
“OK, but what’s with the eye patch?”
“I was standin’ on a dock, and the biggest seagull I ever saw poops right in me eye.”
“But ya don’t go blind from no seagull poop.”
“True,” says Sol. “But it was me first day with the hook.”
If at first you don’t succeed... then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.
Have you watched the show "Naked and Afraid"? Well, I play it every Saturday with my uncle.
Where did Joe go after getting lost on a minefield? Everywhere.
Today, me and my best friend went to the Grand Canyon. He was taking up all the space by the edge, and I told him to back up. R.I.P. to him.
I'm the champion of this site. I fight with the ten rings and ten fists of the legendary Buddha.
Now for my joke...
Why does Peter Pan always fly?
Because he never lands.
Jack and Jill went up a hill. His condom ripped, and now they are from Alabama.
Hey guys! Ello here with an update!
I know I haven't been doing a lot of jokes lately, so I will make sure to do that, but I have something to say! I am going to Disneyland today!! So here is the plan. Today we are going to leave around 2 and go to Downtown Disney for dinner and check into our hotel and stuff like that. Then we are going to wake up bright and early tomorrow and go to Disneyland and stay 'til midnight, and then on Monday we are going to California Adventure! I am missing school on Monday! I'm so excited! And don't worry, I will make sure to tell you guys all about it when we get back. Love y'all!
