Abuse jokes
A wise man once said, "don't think young, think tight." He was a priest.
I would tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I can only think of the punchline.
Why did Johnny cry?
He was molested by his sister. Johnny enjoyed it, though.
What are the differences between a preschool and a pedophile's basement? Little kids leave preschool.
How many times can 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out.
Your dad never needed a van for you.
Me: "I like kids."
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and a pedophile?
One is Catholic and the other is a priest.
A penis has a sad life.
His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him up!
Watching "50 Shades of Grey" was more painful than my uncle fisting me as a kid.
What's a similarity between The Ark of the Covenant, The Holy Grail and a bunch of 12 year olds?
They are all locked in the Priest's basement.
What's the difference between a PC and a 6 year old? I don't have to clean out my PC.
A penis has a sad life.
His hair is a mess.
His family is nuts.
His neighbor is an asshole.
His best friend is a pussy.
And his owner beats him.
What job do you want if you don't want people's twos since?
A Catholic priest.
My wife wanted to make a joke about domestic abuse, but I beat her to it.
All of the jokes are just abuse.
Random person: Imma smack you so hard your skin pigment changes!
Me: Who the hell do you think you are? Michael Jackson’s dad?
What’s the relationship between a pedophile and a light bulb? They're both meant for dark rooms.
7 little children gathered around the bed Bill Cosby's fantasy.
All he wants to do is tickle the kids, it's as plain as can be.
7 cellmates gathered around the bed ready to rape Bill Cosby instead.
My girlfriend broke up with me. She said I was a pedophile. I told her, “PEDOPHILE? Wow, that sure is a big word for an eight-year-old!”