Abuse jokes
Why do pedophiles go to a nursery?
Early access.
What's better than sex with your 12 year old sister?
Rolling her over and pretending it's your 10 year old brother.
Kid's uncle: "Your mum said you can have your friends round tonight! But I'm gonna have to baby sit today."
Kid: "OK THANK YOU."
(AT BED TIME)
Kid: "Please may you stop touching my leg BEN!"
Ben: "I'm not."
(Turns light on) Kid: "UNCLEEEEE STOP SPILLING MILK OVER ME!!!"
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a horse?
An animal abuse warrant.
Why do priests like kids in wheelchairs? Because they can’t run.
The priest wanted the little boy to touch his cross. The boy said, "It's hard." Then it shot out holy water, and the priest said, "Come again and taste the second cumming of Jesus, lmao."
It's not pedophilia, it's early access.
Roses are red, don’t touch the toys, these are what the priests use to lure in the boys.
A wise man once said, "don't think young, think tight." He was a priest.
I would tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I can only think of the punchline.
Why did Johnny cry?
He was molested by his sister. Johnny enjoyed it, though.
What are the differences between a preschool and a pedophile's basement? Little kids leave preschool.
How many times can 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out.
Your dad never needed a van for you.
Me: "I like kids."
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and a pedophile?
One is Catholic and the other is a priest.
A penis has a sad life.
His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him up!
Watching "50 Shades of Grey" was more painful than my uncle fisting me as a kid.
What's a similarity between The Ark of the Covenant, The Holy Grail and a bunch of 12 year olds?
They are all locked in the Priest's basement.
What's the difference between a PC and a 6 year old? I don't have to clean out my PC.