Absent dad jokes
Your dad is so smart, he took one look at you and left.
Why are most absent dads mechanics?
They like to nut and bolt.
I bet you eat your cereal with water because your dad never came back with the milk.
Maybe if you get a better hairline, your dad will come back with the milk.
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your dad.
Yo, dad is so stupid, he brought the milk after two years, and he said, "Oh, sorry son. I'm going back to the store. Bye."
"Knock, knock.""Who's there?""Not your dad."Random kid: "My dad went to get milk. My mom said he will be back soon."
Me: *watching TV*
Mom: Omg, no way, your dad is coming!
Me: Really?
Mom: Obviously not, he never loved or wanted you.
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not."
"Not who?"
"Not your dad."
Why can't you eat cereal?
Because your dad never came back from getting the milk!
Son: I love you, Dad.
Dad gets in car and drives away.
Me: "You wanna see my dad?"
Some kid: "Yeah?"
Me: "Close your eyes and he will appear."
Some kid: "He ain't appearing."
Me: "Sorry I thought he would appear for you. He won't appear for me."
*The kid laughs*
Moral: Not everything is supposed to be funny text if you notice what was really going on. 🙃
You better get used to having dry cereal cuz your dad ain't never bringing the milk back.
My dad just comes and goes.
My dad is like a unicorn.
He's never here. :c
Son: Hi Dad, I'm Son.
Dad: Hi Son, I'm Leaving You.
Years later:
Dad still did not come back.
My friend Jimmy said his dad is exactly like Santa. I asked, "Why is it because he gives people presents?" Jimmy told me, "No, it's because I hear so many good things about him and how he's gonna come home, but never see him."
Why did my dad leave me? Because I was a disappointment.