What do you call an orphan in a room full of mirrors? Surrounded by loved ones.
Shower thoughts
@showerthoughts
It has been rumored that Disney is developing a movie based on suicide. The title? Finding emo.
Why did the emo swallow an alarm clock?
So he could wake up inside.
What did the blind kid say after touching the emo kid’s hand?
“I ain’t reading all that.”
What’s an Emo’s favorite exercise?
The dead hang.
Why do emo kids cost so much?
Because they’re the only people you can scan at the checkout machine.
What’s it called when you give emo some rope as a present? Murder.
Why is suicide illegal? Because it destroys government property.
When does a pentagon not have 5 sides? When it’s intersected by a plane.
What’s the hardest part about being a pedophile?
Fitting in.
Why do Arabs hate chess?
Because the queen is allowed to move freely.
What would Martin Luther King Jr. be if he was white? Alive.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Cause she wasn’t wearing a seatbelt
How do you make the world’s greatest Harlem Shake? Throw a flashbang into a room full of epileptics.
What does a cop say when they shoot ginger?
"Orange is the new black."
A couple is on their first date.
Man: How do you feel about sex?
Woman: I like it infrequently.
Man: I see. Is that one word or two?
An old professor’s class used to begin with a dirty joke.
Following one particularly vulgar joke, the girls in the class decided to walk out the next time he began.
When the professor learned of this planned protest, he came in the next morning and said, “Good morning, class. Did you hear about the scarcity of whores in Newfoundland?”
With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door.
“Wait, ladies,” called the professor, “The boat doesn’t leave until tomorrow!”
What’s the difference between Disney+ and P*rnhub?
Disney+ wants you to hate your stepmother.
If having sex for money makes you a wh*re, then what does having sex for free make you?
Non-profit wh*reganisation.
Why can’t Helen Keller jump out of an airplane?
It scares the shit out of her dog.