Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent?
She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.
Shower thoughts
@showerthoughts
I think if a woman is giving a man a handjob, it should be called "wand making".
If a woman is giving a woman a handjob, it should be called "finger pointing".
If a man is giving a man a handjob, it should be called a "self-pleasure".
Alabama's saying: It's not cheating if we’re all siblings.
The CEO of IKEA was just elected Prime Minister in Sweden.
He should have his cabinet together by the end of the weekend.
I piss on blind kids and tell them it's raining.
When deaf people fight, they let their fists do the talking.
Is it possible to stutter in sign language?
Yes, it’s called Parkinson’s.
Did you hear about the lesbian midget? She probably came out of the cabinet.
Did you hear about the lesbian midget? She probably came out of the cabinet.
I learned how to say virgin in German: "Good and tight."
I learned how to say "virgin" in German: "Good and tight."
How do women hold their liquor? By the ears.
How do women hold their liquor? By the ears.
How does a blind person wipe their ass?
With braille toilet paper.
How does a blind person know they've wiped their ass enough?
What's the difference between a priest and a rabbi? A rabbi cuts it off, a priest sucks it off.
Why don’t women wear mini skirts in the winter?
Because they’ll get chapped lips.
What does it mean if you can remember a girl's eye color?
She had small tits.
What's the best response to a girl saying, 'What's up?'
'If I tell you, will you sit on it?'
How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?
They only have a back door.