Amaurotic Idiocy

I knew a guy who would always claim he had a buddy with an IQ of 1.

It turns out he was just looking in the mirror.

You could be sitting alone and still be the dumbest person in the room.

Q. What do you get when you cross a mentally disabled person with a pedophile? A. Jeffy Epstein.

Q: What do priests do to stay in shape?

A: They exorcise.

Q. If a pedophile, necrophile, and a guy who is into incest are all sitting in a car, who's driving?

A. A police officer.

Did you hear about the pervert who couldn't decide whether he was into incest or necrophilia?

He killed his mom and then fucked her.

Q. What's the difference between an Alzheimer's patient and a tomato? A. A tomato isn't a vegetable.

Your momma so slutty, she got banned from Heavy-R.

Halloween. The day we celebrate your face.

Q. What's the difference between a CEO and a deer?

A. You don't normally fuck the deer after you've shot it.

I'm Canadian, and I admit we've done some stupid things. But we've never given nuclear launch codes to a literal retard.

Everyone makes mistakes.

Just ask your parents.

I'd say you were the spawn of Satan, but that would be an insult to Satan.

I'm not saying you're annoying. But if rectal herpes were a person, it would be you.

What's the difference between Canada and the USA?

In the USA, Trump is sitting in the Oval Office.

In Canada, he'd be sitting in the waiting room of a MAiD clinic.

The president of the USA is so damn stupid. His mother must have taken Tylenol while she was pregnant with him, or something.

Q. What's the Premier of Alberta's favorite sex toy? A. I don't know, but I wish it were me.

If a prostitute is celebrating her birthday, does she get a hoecake?

I tried being an emo, but I never got the hang of it.

Q. What does Michael Jackson get his sex partners as a gift?

A. Crayons.