I SAID GO TO BED BEFORE I SLAP THOSE SPOTS OFF OF YOU!
Worst Jokes Ever
How many police officers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just beat the room for it being black.
Why do people love camping?
Because it's in tents!
Why did the skeleton not go to the dance?
Because he had no BODY to go with!
Me in my dream: What a good day! *rumble* Ooh! What was that?
I wake up and I find myself on the floor.
Stop saying "cheetah cheater" jokes. They suck!
My diet consists of Blood Pudding, I love it and have it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, my secret ingredient though?
It consists of the blood and insides of my victims, it’s a bit chunky sometimes, some bits chewy, some bits hard, but it’s a hearty meal.
They say making and having friends comes with some benefits. I guess you could say I have friends with benefits.
"Why is it that orphans only play tennis?""That's the only love they can get..."
Why did the fire not burn the kid? Because it had no lips.
Dark humor is like water.
Not everybody gets it.
What is the definition of Endless Love?
Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder playing tennis!
Me: I know how to use a microwave!
Also me: Mom! The microwave is on fire!
True story.
Me: I know how to use a microwave!
Also me: Mom! The microwave is on fire!
What do you call a bad joke?
A bad Noah!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
What do you call a guy on fire in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
The people in the Twin Towers, because they went through over 100 stories in less than 10 minutes.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Bagel."
"Bagel who?"
"Toast, it's me, your arch-nemesis, Bagel, here to make up! Bye!"
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite toy as a kid?
Hot Wheels.
Why did Trump's brain cross the road?
Oh wait, there is no other side.