Worst Jokes Ever

Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light!" she blocked the sun. Now we call her the moon.

EXPERIMENT SUCCESSFUL 😱😱 Scientists have created an element named Pessomium 😳😳

Characteristics: - Highly reactive only in Bolivia and Panama 😡🤬 - Turns invisible when in Brazil or Uruguay 🥵🤧 - Finished 😹🤕 - 0 protons 0 electrons 0 goals 0 assists 7 debuts 🥶

My mom tells me and my sister to stop fighting. "Mom! You and Dad need to stop!"

What’s an orphan’s least favorite beverage? Milk.

Yo mama's so ugly even cartoon cat eyes got little.

I'm so excited for Christmas Pudding... Pudding these nuts in your mouth.

I was born and raised in Newcastle.

My grandfather used to tell me stories about Penaldo, a goblin from Portugal that travels to England when Newcastle is playing. He scores a tapin and then disappears until the next Newcastle game. I still have nightmares that he’s in our stadium.

What does Marcus Rashford say when he comes to the stadium?

I wanna kick some balls!

Joe Biden's speeches are so motivational. In fact, I have been stuck at home these past few weeks, and his well articulated words were enough for me to muster up the courage to jump off of a 10 story building.

Your forehead is so big that it's visible on the world map!

The first rule of the Alzheimer’s club is...

Wait, where are we again?

Why did the dwarf get a job at Lidl?

Because every Lidl helps.

There are two types of people in Alabama: the orphans and the incests.

I didn’t realize I had to put jokes into categories, my bad.

Unleash the jokers...👍

What’s green and smells of bacon?

KERMIT'S FINGERS ✌️

Fella walks past a mental hospital; they're all out in the garden behind this big fence, all shouting "13, 13, 13, 13," etc., over and over again.

This fella is intrigued, sees a little hole in the fence, looks through it... gets fucking poked straight in the eye!

Then they all start singing, "14, 14, 14, 14, 14, 14!"

What is yellow and can't swim?

A bus full of children.

I like balls.

Mom: You will make me kill myself.

Me who has cut first: I'll kill myself ✨first✨!

I like dick.