Worst Jokes Ever
How sad and pathetic is it that all you wait for after you finish a suicidal joke is for people to like your joke, but you know you'll just be a failure at that as well?
Life asked death, "Why do people choose you over me?"
Death replied, "Because you're the beautiful lie, and I'm the painful truth."
When you were born, your mom said you were out of bounds, so you went flying out of the hospital.
Tooth 1: Hey, do you like my jokes?
Tooth 2: Yeah, but they're cracking me up.
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where's popcorn?
What does the drummer call his twins? Anna 1, Anna 2.
Why does the pancake team in baseball always win? Because they have the best batter.
What does a house wear? Address.
What was George's last message to humanity before joining the others?
"I CAN'T BREATHE!"
A man and a boy went into a forest. The boy said he was scared. The man said, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone."
What do you call a fish with no booty?
What do you call a fish with no neck?
Kid in 2021: I'm goated at hide and seek.
Anne Frank: I am the hide and seek champion of the world.
Your forehead's so big even Barry Wood said, "Wow, that's huge!"
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
What's the difference between a bird and a fly?
A. A bird can fly, but a fly cannot bird.
If a bird flies, and a duck can also run and fly, while a cat walks, why do we drink water?
So in prep class, the students were asked to write a letter to their grandparents for Grandparents Day.
Little Johnny's friend, Little Sally, wrote things like, "Thank you," and, "You are so nice!" And Little Johnny goes, "What are you doing? You got it wrong!" So Sally says, "What do you mean? It's a letter." Little Johnny says, "Why did you do it like that? Just write a letter from the alphabet like the teacher said!" Then he says, "I wrote a J to remind them of me!"
Ya know, genders are kind of like the Twin Towers.
There used to be 2 of them, but now it’s a touchy subject.
Why can't orphans work at SC Johnson?...
Because it's a FAMILY company.