New 80s Jokes

Surveys show that 80% of women who wear yoga pants never do yoga.

And 100% of men don’t care.

In order to get $355 million for his civil fraud case, Donald Trump desperately needed to fundraise. So, in every Republican Party event, he will serve the Patriotic Trump Dog! It consists of an 80-year-old sausage inside a 10-year-old cream bun, topped with Russian dressing.

Trump does have the best people, doesn't he?

My wife wanted something that went from 0 to 80 very quickly.

So I brought her a new bathroom scale

What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?

Depends

What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 80 mph? Its butt.

What did the pirate say when he turned 80 :answer aye matey

What is 80 feet wide and has 22 teeth?

Answer; The front row of a Trump Rally!

I don't know what an hd is, but my doctor says I have 80 of em'

Who were the fastest readers on the planet? 9/11 victims, they went through 80 stories in 10 seconds.

Who are the fastest readers in history?

9/11 victims they went through 80 stories in 10 seconds

I was going 80 in a school zone and the speed bump was screaming.

i went 80 mph on a school zone and one of the speed bumps screamed am i hallucinating?

The real dead hooked joke is on all of us from the Fraser Valley in BC, you know damn well each and everyone of us ate that Pickton hooker Pork. Concidering it stretching from the 80's-2000's pretty sure he got 4 generations of Valley folk with that Pickton Pork.

What does an orphan have in common with a 80 year old women “there parents will never come back

*Breaking News!* - Apparently the first person in Melbourne has died because of the Coronavirus. In his house they found 1000 cans of food, 50 kilos of pasta, 80 kilos of rice, 300 toilet rolls and 50L of hand sanitiser which he had panic purchased from the supermarket and stock piled "just in case".

The whole lot collapsed and buried him.