Surveys show that 80% of women who wear yoga pants never do yoga.
And 100% of men don’t care.
80s Jokes
In order to get $355 million for his civil fraud case, Donald Trump desperately needed to fundraise. So, in every Republican Party event, he will serve the Patriotic Trump Dog! It consists of an 80-year-old sausage inside a 10-year-old cream bun, topped with Russian dressing.
Trump does have the best people, doesn't he?
My wife wanted something that went from 0 to 80 very quickly.
So I brought her a new bathroom scale.
What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?
Depends.
What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 80 mph? Its butt.
What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
"Aye, matey."
What is 80 feet wide and has 22 teeth?
Answer: The front row of a Trump Rally!
I don't know what an HD is, but my doctor says I have 80 of 'em'.
Who were the fastest readers on the planet? 9/11 victims, they went through 80 stories in 10 seconds.
Who are the fastest readers in history?
9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in 10 seconds.
I was going 80 in a school zone and the speed bump was screaming.
I went 80 mph in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screamed, "Am I hallucinating?"
The real dead hooker joke is on all of us from the Fraser Valley in BC. You know damn well each and everyone of us ate that Pickton hooker pork. Considering it stretching from the 80's-2000's, pretty sure he got 4 generations of Valley folk with that Pickton pork.
What does an orphan have in common with an 80-year-old woman? Their parents will never come back.
*Breaking News!* - Apparently the first person in Melbourne has died because of the Coronavirus. In his house they found 1000 cans of food, 50 kilos of pasta, 80 kilos of rice, 300 toilet rolls and 50L of hand sanitiser which he had panic purchased from the supermarket and stockpiled "just in case".
The whole lot collapsed and buried him.
What world record did the people in 9/11 get?
The world record for going down 80 floors in a matter of seconds.
When you're going 80 km in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screams.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in seconds.
80s (DYM 84)
Parton (DYM 80).