50s jokes

In memory of Michael Jackson, various ice cream companies are introducing the Jackson Chocolate ice cream. It is either 50 year old cream mixed in with 10 year old nuts, or 7 year old vanilla ice cream with 50 year old chocolate drizzled on 4 year old tiny nuts.

Why did the rapper carry an UMBRELLA?

Because he heard there was a 50% chance of "Lil Wayne."

I put this joke so the amount of jokes will be 69. Also, I have 50 kids in my basement. I fed "Twinkies" last night.

Your hairline's so far back that Usain Bolt had to run 50 miles away from you!

The doctor said I had two years to live, so I shot him. The warden gave me 50. Problem solved!

Isn't a gaming console something people use to not be alone?

THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE 50% OF THE GAMES OFFLINE?!??!?!

How many shades of gray does it take to make a dirty movie?

50.

How do you get 50 hungry kids into a box? You put a can of beans in there.

How do you get 50 hungry kids out of a box? You run past with a can opener.

What do you call two Mexicans having sex? 50 Shades of Brown.

Hi guys, I am Logan Taub the toad. I just want to say that my cock is so, so, so tiny. It could fit 50 times in the crack of my butt chin!!!!! Also, I am trans👍

I went to a book store yesterday and I saw a book that said "how to solve 50% of your problems." So I bought 2.

So, there is this button. There's a 50% chance you get a million dollars. There's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle. Make them press the button, and if they give the money, you just push the orphan over, take their money, and run away because who are they going to tell? Their parents?

Boy: Hello, Mom, can I have $50?

Mom: Does it look like I am made of money?

Boy: That's what M.O.M. means, right?

What is 50 Cent's least favorite store?

The dollar store.

Family are together playing charades.

Me: "50 Shades of Grey!" Yes, I'm so good at charades! Put your shirt back on, Nan!

I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% graduation rate, and he said, "Your mom doesn't count as a college!"

"People are more honest when they are tired, so I made my nephew do push-ups 50 times when I realized he stole my cookies."

Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.

The gayest person in the world is Pacman, because I can pay him 50 cents to eat 200 balls.

What do you do if you see a nigger shot 50 times? Stop laughing and reload.