Worst Jokes Ever

You know those paper families you cut out?

Well, I put one of those in an orphanage.

What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay guy? You have to ask permission before stuffing it with meat.

What's the difference between baby Jesus and the baby I keep in my basement?

Baby Jesus died a virgin.

What do you call a gay threesome?

A Sloppy Joe.

How do you blow up an Indian person?

You press the red button.

Age is just a number,

Jail is just a room.

A kid is watching TV and sees an ad about adopting an animal. He then turns to his mother and says, “Do we have to adopt a donkey?” “No,” replied the mom, “but we decided to do it... we adopted you.”

What's the difference between Tyler and a rooster? A rooster says, "cock-a-doodle-doo," Tyler says, "any cock will do."

To start, I'm a big fella in size.

I saw a skinny guy act like Santa, so I went over to him. "You can't pull that off," I said. He said, "Then you try it." He gave me the Santa suit, and I dressed up. He walked by and saw me with 45 kids in line to sit on my lap and tell me what they wanted for Christmas.

Imagine if you were an Arabic person shopping at Walmart with your son.

Now imagine he got lost and you had to start calling out his name.

...Now imagine his name is "Allahu Akbar."

They laughed at my crayon drawing.

I laughed at their chalk outline.

My sister argued with me that you can't make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta!

What do you get when you throw a pebble in the ocean?

A wet pebble.

"Ching chong, drop the bomb!"

How did two retarded people get ran over in one second?

They're my friends.

So, a guy walks into a bar, and he tells the bartender, "After this last drink, I'm going to the roof to kill myself." A guy sitting next to him says, "I wouldn't do that if I were you." in which the man replies, "Oh yeah?" So, they both take their shots and go up to the roof. The guy says, "You're not gonna die, watch this!" He jumps off the roof and comes back up. The man rubs his eyes and tells him to go it again. He comes down and comes back up. The man says, "Cool, let me try!" and he jumps down only to kill himself. The guy goes back to the bar, and the bartender says, "Superman, you're an asshole."

Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up. Class: *no one stands up* Teacher: Oh c'mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *waves her finger around the left side of the room* Little Johnny: *stands up* Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you're dumb? Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you're standing alone.

Past, present, and future walked into a bar... things got tense :). Pls send help, yet once again :).

How do you start a rave? Throw a flash bang into an epileptic children's ward.

Unlike my syndrome, I keep my chin up. 🙌🏽😁