Worst Jokes Ever
Yo mama is like train tracks; she gets laid all around the country.
If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree, which will hit the ground first?
The piece of paper because the rope will stop the emo.
What’s the difference between a Hispanic and a stoner?
A stoner has papers.
What do squirrels and men have in common?
They always want a nut.
Ancestry.com is spelled with an “I” in Alabama.
When you end up pregnant...
Mom told me if a boy touched my breast I should say "DON'T," and if he touched me down there I should say "STOP." But Dad, he touched me both places at once so I said, "DON'T STOP! DON'T STOP!" 😂
What's strong enough for a man but made for a woman?
The back of my hand.
I named my iPod "Titanic." It's syncing now.
What’s the hardest thing to eat on a vegetable? The wheelchair.
Mother: Who do you like more, me or your dad?
Liam: I like you both.
Mother: Ok, if I go to america and your dad goes to paris, where will you go?
Liam: I will go to paris.
Mother: That's means you like dad more.
Liam: No, its because i like paris.
Mother: Ok, fine, if I go to paris and your dad goes to america, where will you go?
Liam: I will go to America.
Mother: Why?
Liam: Because I have already gone to paris.
Richard: Mom, someone called me gay.
Richard's mom: Why didn't you slap him across his face?
Richard: No, I couldn't.
Richard's mom: Why?
Richard: Because he was cute.
What do you do when you finish a magazine at a hospital?
Reload and keep shooting.
Why did the monster 🧟♀️ put the cook in a bowl?
He wanted a chef salad. 🥗😂
I always win arguments against my handicapped girlfriend; she can't stand for herself.
What did the minute hand say to the hour hand?
Why are you so tall?
The Twin Towers and genders have a lot in common. There used to be two, and now it's just a touchy subject.
It's April Fools' Day. I'm gonna go to the orphanage and tell kids, "Their parents are here to pick them up."
Friend: Hey, wanna play hide and seek? Me: Sure, I've got a great spot! Me: *grabs knife and runs to my closet*
My dad just comes and goes.
"Yo mama's so fat, that I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing today!"