Worst Jokes Ever
What is Jesus's favorite exercise?
Cross Fit.
What's the difference between a penis and a gun?
A child doesn't cry when a gun goes off in its mouth.
What do you get if you talk to a Down syndrome person face to face at close distance?
Soaked...
Q: How do you get the retard kid out of the tree?
A: Wave at him.
There was a woman. She is property. Ha, sucks for that dishwasher.
My conversion therapy done worked. Now I only sleep with my sister and not my brother.
My nickname should be night light... because kids turn me on...
What is Hitler's favorite game?
Nahtzee.
How can you tell if you have a high sperm count?
When your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.
What do you call a cow that's had an abortion?
De-calf-inated.
Why did Harry fall out of the boat?
Because he's hooked!
Girl: Daddy, I've been a bad girl.
Priest: For the last time, it's "Father, I have sinned."
Today we need to teach our teens about having safe sex while using contraceptives.
Condoms 99 percent effective.
Birth control 99 percent effective.
Etc.
Just be like me and use underage 7 year olds works 100 percent of the time (only cost 20 years in jail ;)
Chuck Norris once put a plastic bag on his head, and the bag suffocated to death.
Chuck Norris and Time had a race.
Result: Time is still running...
gae
Uranus floats around in space.
If depression is going to be my girlfriend, will she leave me?
Me and my friend were roasting each other. She said, "You look like a Reese's cup." I replied, "You're so old, your pubic hairs are 50 shades of gray."
Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water. Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.