Worst Jokes Ever
Just got a new internet connected toaster. It wouldn't work until I enabled pop-ups!
How did Fortnite record their henchman sounds?
They asked a bunch of kids with Down syndrome to film a documentary.
Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp?
He bought a warehouse.
I told my sister I was into incest. She took it really hard. 😉😏
One day there was a guy who robbed a bank. A customer at the bank while it happened got the police. Who was that? The police said......
It’s a wood hulem.
Teacher: Your bag is heavy, what's in there?
Weird Kid: Magazines.
What starts with the letter M, ends with -arriage and is a man's favorite thing? Miscarriage. That joke never gets old, just like the baby.
Decisions taken by world leaders often have great significance during a crisis.
The Americans, in particular, are suffering many losses during the current global pandemic. Remember, in the 1980's they had Ronald Reagan, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope.
In 2020 they have Donald Trump, no Cash, and no Hope!
What's similar between a fetus and a failed mission?
You abort it.
Should I buy COVID-19 or wait until COVID-20 comes out?
Why does the ice cream have so many friends?
Because he’s cool.
Three men were captured by a tribe and tortured. The leader of the tribe tells them that they would live only if they could achieve one thing: They had to go out and find 10 pieces of the same fruit each.
The first person returned with apples. The leader said that he had to put all 10 of them up into his ass without making a sound, or he would be killed. 1... 2... he screamed.
The next person came back with grapes. 1, 2, 3, he counted up to 8, but began to burst out laughing; he was killed. In heaven, the first man asked him why he laughed if he was doing so well. "Well, I saw the third guy coming back with fucking pineapples!"
Roses are red. He shows no remorse.
Santa Claus Has joined the terrorist force.
A lady runs into a police station and yells, "Help, help! I've been graped!"
A police officer says, "Do you mean raped?"
The girl then replies, "No, there was a bunch of 'em!"
Three people die on the same day: a German, an American, and an Italian. They all go to Hell for various reasons.
American: "I won't ever see my dog again!"
Italian: "I won't ever make pizzas again!"
German: "Hey, granddad, how have you been?"
What type of teacher doesn't fart in public?
A private tutor/tooter.
I used to get pushed and called lazy in school.
Man, I loved that wheelchair.
Q: What is the difference between a dead body and an orphan?
A: The dead body had a family.
What flowers are on your face?
What is the difference between giving money to a prostitute and giving money to a church? A prostitute won't tell you that it is more blessed to give than it is to receive.