Worst Jokes Ever
Alzheimer's protesters march chanting. "What do we want? Better treatment... When do we want it? ...Want what?"
What's the difference between a mosquito and a pornstar? One stops sucking when you smack it.
The happier they get, the less they see.
My sister said the onion is the only vegetable that can make you cry...
So I threw a carrot at her.
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She gagged.
Why did Michael Jackson name his kid Blanket?
What would you call a cover for your cock?
I like penguins.
Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory?
Many soles were lost.
Is depression an emotion or a state of mind? I call it a lifestyle.
What's the difference between a baby and a mansion?
I've never seen the inside of a mansion.
Person: "Doctor, doctor, I've only got 50 seconds to live!"
Doctor: "Just give me a minute!"
Why do priests like kids in wheelchairs? Because they can’t run.
A hand of Pepsi murdered a Coca Cola. An innocent Sprite yelled, "Quick! Call Dr. Pepper!"
Eventually, a 7-Up called Dr. Pepper. The Coca Cola was fine.
So, a bear and a rabbit are in a field. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Does your poop stick to your fur?" The rabbit replied, "No." Then the bear picks up the rabbit and wipes his butt.
What's a horse's favorite football player? NEIGH-mar!
"Trump is Putin, America first!" hahaha
The last thing I told my ex after we broke up was, "At least we're still cousins!" 😂
Random guy: "Go suck a D*ck!"
Me: Nah, I'd rather suck a 9mm.
Why are there no Olympics in Mexico?
Because everyone from Mexico that can run, jump, and swim is already over the border.
What do you call a deaf animal?
Anything, it can't hear you.