Worst Jokes Ever

What do you call it when you're dead because of that one drink in Panera Bread? Panera dead.

A boy was terrible at writing sentences, so his teacher gave him an assignment to help with that. The boy was to go home, write five sentences, and return to school the next day.

When he went home, he took a notepad and a pen and went to his dad for help. His dad was in a very important business call, so he angrily shouted at the child, "Shut up, you donkey!" The boy noted down that sentence. He next went to his mom, who assumed that he wanted to play video games, so she said, "No, my dear, tomorrow." That was his second sentence. For the third sentence, he went to his older brother, who was watching football where someone scored a goal, so he was jumping up and down yelling, "Goal! Goal!"

For the fourth sentence, he went to his sister, who was singing, "Spider-Man, Spider-Man!" For the last sentence, he went to his grandmother, who was cleaning the toilet and singing, "Under the toilet, under the toilet."

He went to school the next day, and his teacher asked him to tell her the sentences. The boy said, "Shut up, you donkey!" The teacher got angry after hearing this and asked the boy, "Do you want me to slap you?" The boy said, "No, my dear, tomorrow." This made the teacher so angry that she slapped the boy. Immediately, he started jumping up and down yelling, "Goal! Goal!" The teacher dragged him to the principal's office, as she was fed up with him. The principal asked the boy what his name was, to which he replied by singing, "Spider-Man, Spider-Man!" She asked him where he lived, so he sang, "Under the toilet, under the toilet."

Don't you feel an empty feeling...

IN YOUR SKULL!

I was once playing the bottle flip challenge on the school table with my friend, and when it was his turn, the bottle fell to his eggplant! 😱😂

I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday.

He said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.

Okay, so turns out the toasters are not waterproof...

We stopped by the reception desk, but the receptionist informed us, "I am wan kin the manager." So we just left in disgust!

How much do 2000 pounds of Chinese noodles weigh? Won Ton.

What do you call a Chinese man in the summer heat? Boi Ling.

I couldn't imagine being Abe Lincoln, that would be mind-blowing!

I love going to church to get closer to God, but my least favorite part of church has to be touching the priest’s penis.

I don’t get why Katniss was bitching so much in ‘The Hunger Games’ books. Ethiopia has been competing for years and I don’t hear any of them complaining.

Been learning Chinese...

69 is too-can-chew.

Want to save 50% on your Chinese?

Just ask before you pay.

Asked my dad what LGBT stands for.

He started with "Lettuce? Bacon. Tomato. What's the 'g' for?" Obviously, I had to reply with "Garnish."

What does a Chinese guy say to his lover? “You’re the ying to my yang!”

Your mom is so fat that she cannot look at her feet when taking a shower.

Your mom is so fat that she only knows three letters, which are "KFC."

We got Spider-Man Homecoming, Spider-Man Far from Home, then Spider-Man No Way Home, considering society’s current state and how shitty 2023 is, the next movie is probably gonna be Spider-Man Homosexual.