Zombie jokes

I'm telling my kids that in 2020 I survived world war 3, the zombie apocalypse, the invasion of the murder hornets, and the second American revolution.

So, me and my friend dressed as dead people for Halloween. The only difference in the costume was that he was actually dead.

People shouldn’t be afraid during a zombie apocalypse.

They can stay in their living room.

What do you call a Mexican in the zombie apocalypse?

Answer: "Sweet and spicy chicken."

Why could the zombie not clap? Because it was dead, duh!

What hood do zombies come from?

Dead Ends.

What do you call a zombie?

Nothing because zombies aren’t real, and if they were, you would be dead.

I went trick or treating this year with friends. Good thing I dressed as a zombie...

no one could tell that it was their blood.

I asked my zombie boyfriend, "Does he have a brain?" Because he's stupid asf.

Why do prostitutes love servicing zombies? They always leave a tip.

What does a dyslexic zombie eat? Brian's, hahahahaha!

What was Frankenstein's second job? -- He was a bodybuilder.

What do vegetarian zombies eat?

Graaaaiins.