Your mom jokes

Yo mama jokes are so old, like your mom.

Why was your mom so into me?

'Cause she was the man.

What's the difference between your mom and a laundromat washer?

The washer doesn't take loads for free.

Person 1: How the freak did you get in my house?!?! I locked the door!!!

Person 2: But I'm your mom... I have a key. You dumbass.

Your mom should show you your real home. The trash!

If death was an option for a look, you could be the first.

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

You tell him, "Clap your hands until your mom comes."

She’s so therapeutic.

When I need to cure my restlessness, I br-br-br-br-br-br-br-br motorboat your mom's breastestess!

You're so ugly when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.

Me: What is the difference between your mom and a mosquito?

Friend: Let me guess, they both suck you.

Your hairline is so fat that when you meet Santa, you're fatter than him and your mom.

Your mom's so poor, she chased the garbage truck with her grocery list.

So little Johnny was on the bus, and the bus driver already hated him. So he started to talk to himself JUST loud enough for the bus driver to hear.

"If my dad was a bull, and my mom was a cow, that would make me... a little bull!"

"If my dad was a rooster, and my mom was a hen, that would make me... a little rooster!"

And by this point, the bus driver was fed up with him, so he said:

"Ok little Johnny, I got one for you: If your dad was a drunk, and your mom was a whore, what would that make you?"

Little Johnny smiled and said: "A bus driver!"

What's the difference between me and you?

I leave white stains in your mom's bed, and you leave white stains in my mom's bed!

Your mom gay.

I forgot to tell Alicia I saw her mom a couple days ago.

In a porn video!

Just before lockdown began, a woman took her 15-year-old son, Tom, and 14, 16, and 18-year-old daughters Sally, Mary, and Annie and went to the family cabin in the mountains to wait it out, while her husband stayed in town as an essential worker.

The weekly family Zoom call went well enough...until the 8th week when the father noticed the 14-year-old was looking a little...plump. By the 20th week, the 16-year-old's shirt was starting to pull taut over her tummy, by the 25th the curve of the 18-year-old's belly was rising over the edge of the table her laptop was perched on, and by the 30th week his wife and all 3 girls were very obviously 6 months pregnant, and the poor 14-year-old was so huge she was obviously having triplets.

So the father waited until he'd talked to his wife and daughters, and then asked if he could talk to his son alone.

"Look, I know your mom and the girls are all pregnant. I'm not mad, I just want to know how it happened. We don't have any neighbors up at the cabin, did you break quarantine and invite some hikers in, or go into town for supplies?"

"No, Pop, we haven't seen anyone since we left the city," his son told him earnestly. "And we sure haven't gone into town for supplies, I ran out of condoms on the second day here!"

Your mom is so ugly. When she goes to the dentist, they make her face down.

Your mom is so small that she can fit in the luggage.

Your mom's so fat, Donald Trump built the wall around her.

Your mom disrespected your dad when he saw your face.